Lost My Father 2 Weeks Ago

[Jessie Jolene]

I'm 20 years old and I lost my dad 2 weeks ago due to a drug overdose. Both of my parents have been drug addicts my entire life. I tried through the years to get them to quit but it progressively got worse when I moved out to attend college. At first I was completely numb. My mom was on drugs so it was up to me to make all the arrangements. It was very scary to be put in this position with my first loss of a loved one. Through the whole process I never shed a tear. However, last night I started crying uncontrollably when I thought of never seeing dad again. I had so many emotions all at once. I was angry at him, felt guilty because I couldn't save him, and sad all over again. I am a very cold hearted person and so is the rest of my family. Why am I crying? I'm afraid to let my family see me cry as well. My grandmother's father passed away when she was 9 years old. When I told her dad died she told me to suck it up and hush about it. She tells me everyday, "When it's your time to go, it's your time to go." A few months before dad's death, I found my mom's best friend dead on our living room floor. She died of a drug overdose. I don't understand why my parents continued to use drugs after seeing what harm they do with their own eyes. Now that dad is dead I'm afraid of finding my mother's body laying on the living room floor, just like her friend. And, I feel very alone in my situation because my sister attends law school in a different state. She was not here to experience what I went through the day our father passed away. Does anyone have any advice? - Jessie

[LoriS.]

Dear Jessie, I am so sorry about the loss of your dad and what you have had to go through regarding the drug abuse, etc. Do you have any other family members, friends, clergy, etc. that you can talk to to make some sense out of all of this? Does your college offer counseling services? You are so young, yet you seem so mature and have had to grow up so quickly. I am so sorry. Keep posting your feelings and we're all here for you.

Take care and big hugs to you...Lori

[Jessie Jolene]

Lori,

Counseling services are provided at my school, however I don't think I'm ready to take that step. My sister and I are very close even though we are miles apart. We talk on the phone for hours about the situation and it seems to help. I seem to be feeling a little better. Thank you for your support.

- Jessie

[LoriS.]

Jessie, I'm glad that you and your sister are so close and are able to talk to each other whenever you need to. Death of a loved one takes so much out of us and we all feel things at different times. It's good to know that your school offers counseling...at least you know that it is there for you if you need it.

Take care...Lori

[davidrespect]

Hi jesse, first of all I’m sorry, really sorry to hear about your dad, I also had a brother on my father side who died from overdose. Please don’t feel like it’s your fault, actually you saved your parents. They didn’t had to think that you would become a drug addict, you mom still has hope encourage her to go to rehab. you and your sister keep strong and be there for each other.

davidrespect