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I feel awakened from the fog I was in for so long, but now I have no clue what to do with myself. I feel so lost. I know everyone can relate, but it is just so unreal. Just a little over 2 years ago, I was getting married, about to buy a home, about to start my life. Everything seemed mapped out for me, and now I have no road map to follow, no idea what to do with myself, and a wonderful son to raise who deserves a mother who knows where she is going. I want to move, because there are some amenities I am wishing I had that I do not. One second I think I would like to buy a home, the next second I think no I should stay where I am. I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DO ANYMORE! I used to be very together, now I am so apart....

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Chrissy,

You are right, I went through the same thing. For the first few months you seem like you are in a fog. I have heard many times, don't make any major descisions during the first year. Give your self some time. I don't know how to say when it happens or how I know, but I do know that just now coming away from the one year mark, I know myself better and now can make better descisions on how to procede with my life. The first year after the death you are trying to find your self again, learning about who you are. You would think that who you are would be the same as before you got married, but it isn't. Who you are has changed and forever will be changed. I think the change makes us a better person. We have gone through a lot. Give your self some time before making any descisions on moving, I think when you look back you will be glad you did. I hope all goes well.

Love always

Derek

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Chrissy,

I have to agree with what Derek has said. You will feel more together eventually. Give yourself time, you will know what to do when it is right. I STILL feel that way somewhat, and yet, little by little, I am making decisions and moving forward. Some of my first year remains such a fog to me. The second year, in a way has been harder for me, although the intensity of pain has lessened...I think it's because the shock has worn off and we are left to deal with everything. But it WILL get better for you.

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