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Things I Wish I Had Said


STARKISS

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Dear Dad,

There are things I wish I had said to you, Things that should have been said but were not... First I want to say that eventhough our relationship had it's rocky parts I still really admired you... The way you left home to see the world at such a young age... The stories you shared with us as a family and going shopping was aways a joyful experience... I love you dad and I will always love you till the day we see each other.... Your daughter Shelley

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  • 4 years later...

Hi All,

This sounds so weird since I now had memories of the sexual abuse my dad did to me... I can not say I love him anymore but I guess since there were no memories when I wrote this that is how I could say what I did... Shelley

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Guest Nicholas

I am very fortunate in that there was nothing left unsaid - sure, there are questions that I would now like to ask - but there were no unresolved arguments or anything that others have to endure. Thanomsil knew I loved him like a "real" son (even though he was adopted), how much I cared and worried about him and I know how much he loved me. As painful as it is to write it, his last words to me, when he was starting to get very confused and not too long before he slipped into his final coma, were, in response to my question "Do you know who I am?" (he was so distressed at the time), "You are my Daddy". And I shall remember those words until I, too, move on to my next life.

Missing you loads son.

xxxx

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Hi Nicholas, I am glad you had nothing left to say, when my mom died it was sudden and unexpected and I never got to say good bye to her only to her body that was dying infront of me.. I was not even in my own country at the time we were on vacation... When my dad died he had gone to the hospital the night before with a simple fever and the next day he died.. ( he did have cancer but I did not realize how bad).. His death was also unexpected and sudden... Shelley

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  • 1 year later...

Shelley, dear, if you ever find someone who's led a normal life, please let me know, because I really don't know what "normal" is. I don't think anyone's life is "normal," because everyone who's lived for any length of time has a story. Nobody gets through this life without hardship of one sort or another, Shelley ~ nobody. That's why I love this saying: "It's never too late to have a happy childhood." The person now writing the story of your life is YOU, and you can make that story be anything you want it to be. You can let go of all the awful stuff that happened to you as a child, and remember only the good stuff. It is a choice. You cannot change the past, but you can choose which parts of it you want to remember, and which parts you want to bring with you into your present and your future.

As for telling your parents what you wish you would've said to them, you've had enough therapy to know that it is never too late to say what you need to say to someone, even if that person lives no longer on this earth. You can construct a ritual of your own design, write a letter to the person (or persons) and say whatever you need to get off your mind and onto a piece of paper (or a computer screen). Then you can burn the letter or ceremoniously send it off into cyberspace, deliberately and intentionally letting all your pain and sorrow go along with it. There are many, many ways to finish unfinished business ~ this is just one way that comes to mind. Please spend some time thinking about how you could do this for yourself . . .

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Shelley, dear, I just read an article by Oprah Winfrey that contains the following passage. It made me think of you, and so I'm sharing it with you here:

It may be human nature to question and doubt, but the older I get, the less I worry about anything. I can see life unfolding in divine order. And even in times of the greatest turmoil, I can stop, get still, and see with utter clarity: This, too, shall pass.

Because everything always does. Until finally we do.

No matter what you're struggling through -- no matter the pain or anguish -- you can go inside behind your mind and observe it happening to you. Whatever it is, it isn't you. You are the observer.

When you come to know this, you realize that even though the canvas of your life is painted with daily experiences, behaviors, reactions, and emotions, you're the one controlling the brush.

What a wonder! It would have been nice to know this at 21. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache and self-doubt. But to fully understand, at any age, that you are the artist of your own life -- and can use as many colors and textures as possible (and erase when necessary!)... now, that's a revelation. [source: What I Wish I Knew at 21]

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  • 1 month later...

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