Excuses

[ousontmesamis]

I just have to ask this. I'm curious to know if what my recently reassigned academic advisor had to say to me was inappropriate. She said that I'm making excuses using my friends' deaths as excuses for my mediocre grades of (A-, B, and C) for the past fall semester and for my dropping this semester. She's the one who had said that my grades are mediocre and a GPA of 2.89 was poor and unacceptable. I was just telling her what I was going through then and what led to my dropping this semester. I didn't feel I was making excuses. All I know is that the loss of my friends is an unbearable pain. What she had to say, it was something I just didn't need to hear. I don't know. Was I making excuses?

[Janine]

It sounds like your advisor is making excuses for not being human. Oh..there is that nasty side of me again. Sorry.

I believe most people who behave in this manor have never lost someone close to them or is in denial about there loss. I would tell them the comments made do not help with your feelings of loss. Put the ball in their court.

Janine

[STARKISS]

Hi ousontmesamis,

I agree with Janine, I think that unless you have loss someone close to you you really do not understand what others who have loss someone are feeling... That is why I love coming here because people do understand what and how you are feeling.... take care Shelley

[shell]

Ousontmesamis,

You are NOT using your friends deaths as excuses. I'd like to slap the person who said that to you! Ignore all such ignorant and insensitive people and stay true to your feelings. They are what you are feeling and you have every right to feel them. You will work it all out when you are ready.

Hugs,

Shell

[STARKISS]

Hi All,

I have just been to the doctor and she has dropped my dosage of my antidepressant medication because she says after two years I should be all right without it... I find myself that I am more sad now than I was when my mom first died... If that can be possible I do not know really.... I just find some doctor's not to be to understanding when it comes to grief... So I am sorry for anyone who is having a bad time right now with any doctors... Take care and I will continue to pray for anyone who needs it... Take care Shelley

[ousontmesamis]

It's been a long time Star and shell! How have you all been?

Welcome Janine!

Star, I'm bipolar and my grieving, I believe, is affecting my disorder. I've been in nothing but a depressive state. I think my meds are working other wise I wouldn't be around to be posting on here.

Well, my advisor is in her mid 20's so I guess I'll just consider the source.

Now, I have another loss. I haven't seen my cat, Sam, since he snuck out of our home (his and mine) three and a half weeks ago. Neighbors say there are coyotes around here; I don't want to think he went that way. He's never been gone this long. I've done everything trying to find him and no luck. I can only think of one thing and that one thing is, is that he crossed over to the other side into the afterlife. Rest his gentle soul. I'd just like to see him and hold him one last time so I can let him know I'll always love him and to be able to get to say goodbye.

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I have been going to grief support groups and meeting other grievers and getting support with them so they have been helpful. The facilitator of one of the grief groups I've been going to has recently lost her mother so she's in the same boat as we are so she knows exactly what we're going through and how we're feeling. We all had a group hug after the meeting.

Does anyone here in this forum feel better being around other grievers? We discussed in our group this week the way that the non-grievers treat us. Does anyone feel that people (strangers you pass by on the street, people you work with, etc) seem more rude and mean than usual since your loss? Maybe grieving just makes one more sensitive to these things.

An old friend of mine, whom I haven't seen in years, had recently got back in touch with me to inform me of his mother's passing.

Take care of yourselves!

[shell]

Hi Ous (I'm shortening it....hope you don't mind!),

I'm so glad you are going to a support group. That seems to help a lot. I'm soooooo sorry about your cat. I'm an avid animal lover and can honestly share your pain. I just had to have one of my babies (I have...or had, 11 cats inside and several strays outside) put to sleep a little over a week ago and am devistated over her loss. I've always had animals and have had to have many of them put to sleep and it NEVER gets any easier. It's like losing a child. Your baby may show up yet, don't give up hope.

Take care of yourself.

A big, big hug,

Shell

[STARKISS]

Hi Ousontmesamis,

I am truly sorry to hear about your cat, I too love animals... At one time our house had four hamsters, one dog and two cats that was ten years ago... As well at the same time my brother also had four love birds, a lizard, a parrot, three dogs, and four cats... As you might of quess he owned a very large house in the country so he could have all this He had this just five years ago.... We just had an average house...Take care and I am truly sorry about your cat Shelley