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Went Back To Bowmanville


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Hi All,

I went back to Bowmanville where I grew up, I thought that it would feel the same but now it just feels like I am a visitor even though I spend most of my life there... I feel like I am an intruder and can not wait to get out of town...Why the difference of feelings it not like Bowmanville died... I want to go back again but I am afraid that I will just get that feeling again.... I can not even face the house I live in right now I did once since I left and I noticed they took the old curtains down and removed my dad's favorite roses which made me angry because I knew I should have insisted that they were removed before the house sold.. What if I can never face Bowmanville again will this turn into another nightmare for me.... Who knows!!!!!!!!!!!! Shelley

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Shelley,

When your life changes as drastically as yours has, everything changes. That is probably why your old town feels so different. Paul has the same problem (I don't think he'd mind me telling his story) seeing the house he grew up in. He also gets mad about all the changes the new owners are making! It's perfectly normal to feel that way. Try not to worry about it. Someday it may be more comfortable for you to go there, and if not, it's just another chapter of your "new" life.

Big hugs,

Shell

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Hi Shell,

Thank you for sharing the information in your last post, I think that I will give it some more time and than try to visit Bowmanville again... Than I will just see what happens.... Take care Shelley

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Hi shelley:

Maybe it's best that you not bother going back to Bowmanville for a while, or perhaps ever. If it's that painful, there's no need for know. "Leaning into the pain" to move through grief is one thing, to torture yourself is another.

Paul

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Hi All

Thank you all for your replies and support, I have decided that Bowmanville can wait and when the time is ready I will try again... But for now I am just happy where I am and that is enough Take care Shelley

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  • 4 months later...

Hi All,

I went to Bowmanville again and found it to be so very different... Alot of the stores were gone that used to be there when I was there and the whole feel was so very different... I just could not wait to leave and I was there only for about a hour... My sister picked me up and we showed Evan her youngest son where we used to live... The two houses we used to live in...Take care Shelley

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Shelley,

Sometimes I think changes are tools to make us move forward. It should help you to not miss Bowmanville so much since things are different. So in this case the changes may be good, a sort of help to let you move on. Some of the changes I've had to make seemed devastating at first, but in a weird twist of fate, they were good because things were going to change anyway! I don't know if this makes sense, but hope you can make some sense of it!

Hugs,

Shell

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi Shell,

Thanks for your reply, but it is so weird that eventhough things have changed so very much I still miss it there... I think it is because Bowmanville is such a small town and Pickering is so much bigger... I am trying hard to make it out here but things are so different... Take care Shelley

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Shelley,

Yeah, change is hard, period. Even though I'm living in the same house and same place, things have changed. I take out two plates instead of three, I have to do almost everything alone, without my mom being with me, all sorts of little, and big, things every day. So things change regardless and it's hard to adjust and handle. We just have to get through it the best way we can.

Hugs,

Shell

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi All,

I just wanted to let everyone know when the time is right I will be looking for a place here in Pickering... After alot of thinking I have decided this will be the place for me... Thanks for caring everyone Take care Shelley

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  • 5 months later...

Hi All,

My sister and I had an enormous fight and I threaten to leave for good... This upset everyone very much... My neice and nephews were just so upsetting and drove me crazy so much during the day that I snapped at her that night... I ended up talking with my neice who was the most upset and we cried together and hugged each other so much and we promise each other that we went talk to each other when things were bothering us... I am here to stay now and maybe down the road I will have my own place... Take care shelley

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