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Shell's Mother Died Last Thursday


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Dear Ones,

I've learned via Private Message from our dear and precious Shell that her mother died last Thursday, and with Shell's permission, I am sharing that sad news with all of you now.

In Shell's own words, "I don't mind if you share my news with the rest of the 'family.' I just can't quite bring myself to write anything about it right now, so you telling them would actually be a help to me. Thank you. I definitely will be back sometime. The board had been such a blessing to me . . ."

I've assured Shell that she has many, many people here who care deeply for her and stand ready to embrace her with our love, just as she has always been here for us. I know she will come back to us whenever she feels ready to do so, and in the meantime, I hope you will join with me in conveying our deepest sympathy to her and those she loves.

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Oh...that makes me so sad. I knew Shell's mom wasn't in the best of health and that Shell was taking care of her. Shell, I am so sorry. You have always been there for all of us and now it's time for us to be there for you whenever you're ready.

Take care, big hugs and lots of love...Lori

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Dear Shell,

I am sending you my sincere sympathy in loss of your dear mother, I know how much you have done for me and the rest of the family and just know that we are all here to help in anyway we can as you have helped many of us... If you just need to tell and not listen to anyone you can email me anytime you need too... Here's sending you a great big hug and I will definitely keep you and your family in my prayers Take care Shelley

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Hi, Shell: Please accept my heartfelt sympathy and condolences for the loss of your dear Mother. We're all here whenever you come back. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love,

Leann

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Hi family,

Again, thanks for all your sentiments. I'm trying very hard to "get on with my life" (just not sure exactly what that is right now!). I cry a lot, which we all know is good, and am trying now to catch up on some sleep and slow down a little. I'm so touched that so many of you are thinking of me. You are such a special group of people!

Hugs and love to all of yu,

Shell

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Marty,

Thanks. I have missed all of you and it does feel like coming home again. It has felt so good just to participate again and try and catch up with everyone. It is wonderful therapy. And you, who I always think of as the "mother" of our group, are an inspiration to all of us.

LoriS,

I know you are here for me and that makes a huge difference in my life! I'm so glad we all have each other. Thanks.

Hugs to both of you,

Shell

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi Shell,

I was so sorry to hear about your mom, and I hope things are getting a little easier but I guess you are problemly in the numb phase and I just wanted to say that I am glad you are back and you are a very special part of our family here... Take care Shelley

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Shelley,

Thanks so much, Shelley. I'm doing ok, keeping busy, but trying to rest and relax too. I'm still a little numb, I guess, but luckily I have my babies to take care of (my kitties, for anyone who doesn't know me!) and they give me a reason to get up every day. Don't know what I'd do without them!

Hugs,

Shell

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Hi Shell,

I just wanted to add that you are so welcome and I am so glad you came back to this family we have here because you have helped us so very much and maybe we can help you too...Take care Shelley

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  • 2 months later...

Dear Shell: I just found out about your Mom, and I am so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, like you were there for me, when my Mom died. I haven't logged on in so long, I even forgot my user name. But please know that I am thinking of you and if there's anything I can do, I will. Again, I know how it hurts, but it will get better. I am so sorry...

Take care,

Kim

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Hi Shell! Thank you. You're up late. Have you found yourself staying up late at night alot? I do. Sometimes, I even stay up all night. I don't want to go to sleep. I still have my Mom's ashes with me. I can't bring myself to take them to the cemetery. I feel like once I do, it's final. Sounds silly, I know, but for some reason, having her ashes in the house makes me feel better. They're in the livingroom on a bookshelf, with one of her nameplates that she used when she was working.

It's true what they say, you know. Each day gets easier. I still think of Mom every single day, but I don't cry every day anymore. It still makes me sad alot, but not so bad lately. It will get better, I promise, but you already know that!

My son got married June 2, 2007, and I bought a necklace with a heart pendant, and put some of her ashes in it, and took it with me to California, so she could be there at the ceremony. No one else (but my husband and daughter) knew what I did. She would have had a ball at the reception!

Is there anything I can help you with. I sometimes come across Mom's death certificate, and there, in black and white, is my name and signature, on my Mother's death certificate...permanently. It feels weird. I had to sign my sister's death certificate in 2001, and that felt strange to see my name there, forever, informing anyone who looked at it, that my Mom and Sister had died. It's just strange to me.

What are you doing with yourself? Are you keeping yourself busy? And have you taken the time to grieve? We have to do that.

I promise not to be gone so long again. It's nice to be back, and see some familiar names. It's so sad to see all the new names.

Take care, and I really mean it. If I can help, let me know. I've been there, done that!

Love, Kim

Edited by jkw
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Shell,

I feel your loss. You have lots of friends here to help you get through this. It's hard but somehow someway we all get through it, that's what "they" say, someetimes I hate "they" but apparently they're right.

I'll be thinking of you and your family.

Lot's of hugs

Dawn

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Hi everyone,

Thanks so much. I'm doing ok, just taking it one day at a time. You all are so special to me.

Kim, I know exactly how you feel about the death certificate. And I have both my mom and dads ashes at the house with me and plan on keeping them here. Luckily, my brother is fine with this. I know some of you have had terrible problems with other family members pressuring you to do something with the ashes. I know my mom and dad would rather be home than any other place and I feel that way about myself too. I want to be cremated and brought home. But, everyone has their own feelings about stuff like that.

I am definitely taking time to just "be". I know I have to grieve and get used to all the changes. I'm soooo tired that it would be hard to do much of anything else! I'm taking care of all the stuff you have to do after someone dies, grocery shopping, taking care of all my cats, and socializing once in awhile with people I'm comfortable with. Other than that, I try to rest and just go along with the flow.

Thanks again everybody, you have all brought such kindness and a peace into my life that is truly amazing.

Hugs to all,

Shell

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