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2 Years Without George


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It seems so hard to believe that it was just two years ago today that the light in my life was snuffed out and the world went reeling around me as I tried to assimilate the changes in my life. Life without him...how could I fathom all that would entail! Every hope, every dream we had shared was gone in an instant as God called him home. It has affected every avenue of my life. It's funny, but I don't hear from any of the people that were such an important part of our lives, they're gone, moved on, seemingly have forgotten this wonderful man that cared about them more than his own self. My deepest prayer is that sometime today, those who knew him, would just stop for a moment and REMEMBER, remember the wonderful man that he was, the best friend anyone could ever be fortunate enough to have. He will never be forgotten to me.

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Kayc,

My heart sunk when reading your post. I've experienced the same feelings of disbelief and displacement, as well as wondering what happened to all those people who proclaimed their love for Tanya. "Life goes on" surely means something different to me now. I believe these folks really mean what they've said, but life does just keep steaming along.

I know it is of small consolation, but your description of your husband is one of someone we all would have wanted to know. Those who didn't know him cannot remember, but we think about the kind of man he was, and how he meant the world to you. My thoughts are with both of you.

Long distance hug,

Steve

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Kayc - I'm in the same situation...almost two years. There are only two couples, part of Jack's first wife's family, that still keep me in mind. His first wife was my very close friend. I've never heard from his children and it doesn't matter any more. My family is with me, I do have friends that have lost their husbands or never married and I am treated wonderfully by them. Those that went by the wayside I figure I'm better off without and maybe that's just protecting myself but that's how I feel. I have gone a step further in my church and joined a wonderful group of women who are very supportive. I really feel my faith is getting me through everything. I hope that helps you, too. Take care of yourself and bless those wonderful thoughts you have of your husband. I sure do!

Karen

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karenb,

It's funny you mention faith...my church has pretty much dropped me. They can't begin to understand what I've been through and don't seem to care. I have had one friend that has stuck with me, besides John. Just this morning I was thinking, on the way to work, I've been through so many changes in my life, you can lose a husband, friends can disappear, churches can disappoint you, but God is always there, through everything, through it all. This site has been a lifesaver to me too.

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Maybe you might think about "church shopping." I took it slowly and found the right one for me. I just can't fathom a church that would do such a thing. You have been through a lot and you do so well. I'm sure you must be proud of going on like you have, a strong lady (most of the time, right?) That's what they call me and you and I both know that always isn't true. Hang in there, Kay. You're doing beautifully.

Karen

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KayC, Thinking of you today and hoping you feel some peace. I'm digging my heels in now, not wanting the 2 year mark to come. I'm only at 19 months but I know it will be here in an instant. I think its so amazing how all of us share and support. Nothing prepares you for this grief walk. Prior to Larry dying I had no clue how drastically everything changes in that moment. I knew my heart would break but all the little things of daily living remind us of what we've lost. Thats where people who haven't had this experience really DON'T understand. You've got a great heart KayC, thanks for sharing your George with us. Deborah

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quote name='kayc' date='Jun 19 2007, 01:32 PM' post='13725']

....My deepest prayer is that sometime today, those who knew him, would just stop for a moment and REMEMBER, remember the wonderful man that he was, the best friend anyone could ever be fortunate enough to have. He will never be forgotten to me.

Edited by WaltC
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KayC,

Such sadness came on me when I read what you wrote, I have the same experiences in such a short duration of time 3 Mos and still wonder why it conspired in such a manner, you can always think you spent the best years of his life with him, and not anyone else had that fortune :)

William

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Last night I talked to my sister about George...she had forgotten (as did everyone else) that it was that 2 year mark. She allowed me to just talk about him, which helped me greatly. I talked to a friend today and she said maybe noone called or brought him up because they didn't want to remind me (as if he isn't on my mind!) or because I've remarried. I almost feel, what has that got to do with anything? I guess I understand their thinking, but as any widow who has ever remarried can attest, you do NOT forget your late husband, not ever. There is never a day goes by but what he isn't in my heart and on my mind. It makes me understand how my mom feels...I always call her on my dad's birthday (which is also their anniversary) and on the anniversary of his death...I also bring him up and talk about him and she says that means so much to her because no one else wants to, as if they've all forgotten him, and she just wants him remembered and loved.

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My daughter and her family and a couple friends are the only ones that have said, "Jack did this or that, etc." without me starting the subject. I think you're right that everyone else just waits to see if I bring up his name and then they may say something...I think they just don't want to remind me or make me feel bad. I think about him every day...they just don't know it. Then there are some who are just interested in themselves, oh, well! Life does go on.

Karen

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Hi Kay,

I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry for George being gone and I'm sorry you have to go through this grief. It's been 10 months for me - and, although the pain is not as frequent, I still miss him so much.

He too was a very special man..full of love and compassion for others, full of interest and happiness and joy...everyone always felt good being around him - he always had something good to say to and about everyone.

Hewas the best and dearest and safest man and person I ever knew.

I miss you so much, my sweetheart.

Benita

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  • 2 weeks later...

Kayc

I would like to share this with you and maybe it may help. It has been my experience that everyone deals with the death of someone close very different and I think none of us know how to deal with it well. How can we? It hurts like hell and we just want that pain to go away.

I stopped visiting my husbands grave early in the peace and some took this as 'forgetting' or not caring. My reasons where acyually the opposite. I found that every time i went there, especially aniversaries, it brought the loss back fresh and painfully. I used to sit or stand there thinking how wrong and injust the whole deal was and regret would sweep over me and debilitate me for months. I am a mum and i need to function for my family. It would not be fair on them if reliving my husbands death pulled me to floor again and agian. So I stopped.

I think people associate annivarsaries with celebration and some people dont want to be reminded of the very day their world was pulled apart. I necer forget these dates but i dont give into them too much now as it does keep it fresher. Instead I celebrate my kids dad by reminding them now and then what a great man he was. We smile and remember him fondly. yes sure I come down at times, missing him but I try to celebrate him more.

My mother in law insisted oon the recording of the funeral and I was happy to hand it over as the last thing I wanted to do was relive that terrible day. But I have to understand that is her way of dealing with it and I have mine.

I hope this helps.

Edited by Gods Princess
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