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Kathy died in an accident a little over 7 months ago. She knew that I didn't like being alone and had told me if anything were ever to happen to her she understood that I would need to find another partner in life. There was no unfinished business between us, just a wonderful 10 years together with love that just grew and grew.

My grief is easing up a bit, most days I still have tears of loss at some moment or another. Waking up alone is still painful. Affection and touch were a big aprt of our love and I greatly miss that comfort of a woman next to me.

I tried dating a few times too early on and things lasted a month at best.

I'm now in relationship with a sweet woman 400 miles away. We have things in common and seem to love each others company when we are able to get together.

The long-distance thing is a big consideration for me. I do feel that my life after Kathy is something new. It may not fit the ideas I had before, and I know the next woman in my life can not reflect her. I'll just have to see if being physically close only infrequently will work for me. I'm confident that the emotional connection can exist.

Any experience with this out there?


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Well, I remarried my husband's best friend, and he lives 3 1/2 hours away from me...and still does so far. We want to be together and it is hard, but we make it work as best as we can. We are committed to each other and to the relationship and that's what makes it work. I feel I got involved with him a little too soon and that I was very vulnerable...I too hated being alone, always alone...but what's ironic is, I still AM alone! I am just now learning to "do it alone" after all this time (2 years). Seven months is very soon. John and I became friends first and it just naturally gravitated towards something more. You are right in that she should not be expected to be like your wife was. Learn to appreciate her for who SHE is. However, I feel it's best to wait a while before seeing someone until you know who you are alone first, but as I well know, some of us are vulnerable and don't want to heed those words and it may be too late for that anyway. At any rate, the decision is up to you and if you want to make it work, you can, but yes, long distance can complicate things...it's just whether or not you feel she's the one and if so there's no choice about expending the effort. Think about it carefully and go slowly though.

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  • 2 weeks later...


I too have miss the companionship of my wife, I miss the most is hearing her voice and seeing her smile, I personally find it difficult at this time to find someone else, I been corresponding with a gal in Europe but I haven't opened myself yet, sometimes feel if I will ever move on, only time will tell right?


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