Went To Work

[Tracey B]

I own a pet store so tryed to work today. lasted 4hours and that was to long.tryed to do order but just saw a blank paper.could not think and when people came in could not talk to them words would not come out.walked about lost and that is not me, even had puppies come in and all ways have treats for them but not today. would go to the back of store and forget why.My mind is gone, Saw some catnip toys that my mom made for me to sell, well the tears came again. Paper work is adding up saw my desk and so much to do. All i cn do is cry and veg out.I still have to pay the final bill for funeral and flower and to moms paper work. Just want to turn the clock back,wake up and find out it was a nightmare. How can i get things done.How can i work just so lost

[shell]

Tracey B,

I don't know if this will help you, but I kind of go into an "auto-pilot" mode. I concentrate very hard on just one thing at a time and get it done, then move onto the next. I try to "blank" my mind out (as far as thinking of my mom) and it usually works for awhile, enough to get trhough the things I absolutely have to do. Sometimes it doesn't work and something will make me cry, so I don't know if there is anything that works except time.

A pet store? How wonderful! I love animals and that must be a great business to be in. Try to let your furry friends give you comfort too. I know my fur babies give me a reason to get up everyday!

It's been such a short time since your loss...what you are experiencing is normal. Just float through it as best as you can right now! Good luck.

Hugs,

Shell

[AnnieO]

Tracey,

Shell is right. Do one thing at a time. I used to take the day and think in 3 hour sections. If I could just get thru 3 hours and get things done,I would feel better.I tried not to think of "everything" that needed to be done. Bills, paperwork...etc. I just took one project at a time. And many days, taking a shower and eating a meal was all I could get done. Lots of things fell thru the cracks..I forgot to pay our house insurance, but paid insurance on a boat we haven't owned in years. I am with Shell...a pet store? What a great place to work. What kind of animals do you have? Do have pets at home?

Hang in there. You are in my thoughts.

[LoriS.]

Tracey, I agree with Shell and Annie, too. It's so hard at first. Nothing makes sense. Just try to get through 1 task at a time and ask for extra help at your store if you feel you need it. It's ok to ask for help. Sometimes we feel like we need to be in control of everything, but I found that in the beginning of the grief journey, people were more than happy and willing to help.

Just being with my dog has helped me tremendously. He was such strength and comfort to me in the beginning and of course now. Let all of the animals help you by their unconditional love!

Take care...Lori

[Trudy1964]

Tracey,

Like I said before in another post -- do what you can handle; handle only what you can do. I agree, ask for help. Give yourself time. I learned so much from this site. I thought after a few weeks I should be fuctioning normal again. That is when reality sets in. Thanks to the great people at this place who kept telling me "time, it just takes time". Don't be too hard on yourself. I made a booboo like Annie. I ordered 4 boxes of checks for my husband and I just like I've been doing for the past 21 years. Only I forgot to put his hame on them. Thank God he loves me. That was at 6 months. Just take baby steps. Together we'll get through.

Missing my Mom,

Trudy

[Tracey B]

Thanks to all. The only thinl i can handle is to stay in bed, which i did today. Let the dog got coffee than bed the story of my life.I was never good at asking for help,even letting people know what i feel in hard, i just feel so lost and alone. Still cant eat hotdog was today food. Going back to work again tommrow made sure i only work till noon.so much i should have done but did nothing. Don't know how long i can take it all. Iam near the end now

[Trudy1964]

Tracey,

I almost asked for a leave from work because the hardest part of my work day was getting out of bed. Maybe you should consider seeing a Dr. I, like most people here, had to get on antidepressants for a while. I'm still on them now. When your grief is so strong, you can't think straight. Many of us also saught help from counseling. It was a great help to me. He just let me talk and talk and talk. He had a way of making me want to talk to him. I promise the pain will not always be like it is right now. It gets different. I'm sending you a hug and a special prayer.

Missing my Mom,

Trudy

[shell]

Tracey,

Trudy has a point. When my Dad died, I fell apart about two weeks later and had to go on an antidepressant, which helped me tremendously. I'm still taking it and I think it has helped me with my Moms passing. It really helped my anxiety. You might want to talk to your doctor.

I believe you said it's been about a week since your mom passed away...that is just such a short time. I can't stress that enough! It's a wonder you can go to work at all, so in a way you are doing great. Please, give yourself time.

I am very bad at asking for help too, but once I accepted help the first time from a caring neighbor, it made me realize that it made people feel good to help me. I am taking this neighbor to lunch this week to thank her for all she did (she evened ironed some shirts for me!) We've known her for a long time and she was thrilled to be able to help me. So try to think of it as something you are giving them too.

A big hug...just hang in there,

Shell

[TeresaBennett]

Tracey , You will be fine right now your facing ll the pain and not holding it inside thats great you will be ok with time .You will laugh and cry thinking of your mom just think you have a angel everywhere you go you can talk to your mom anywhere at anytime .Teresa

heres a poem that makes me feel great

[Tracey B]

hi

I not at work any more cold not take it anymore the season the people so i hide out in my room and in bed that is my life. I just hurt to much thinking of how it was.

Tracey