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Lost My Mom & Sad


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Hi all,

This is my first post, although I have been reading many entries. It is comforting to have found a site where people are so helpful and supportive of each another. I, too, am really struggling with the recent, unexpected loss of my Mom. She passed away suddenly from a brain aneurysm 3 months ago, leaving us all in a state of shock. I was on the phone with her the night before. She was absolutely fine ... no sickness or symptoms whatsoever. I miss her terribly, as we were best friends and each other's confidantes. So many people who "get it" have honestly told me that it gets worse before it gets better. I am realizing how very true that is. Because her passing was so sudden, we were all so numb during the wake/funeral. The 3 months following have been so emotional and incredibly sad. For whatever reason, she was just ripped away from us and we all feel completely robbed. I feel bad that she, too, was robbed of more time with my Dad, we 4 kids, her 5 grandchildren, and her new friends and activities she was beginning to enjoy in retirement. Sometimes, I still cannot believe that she is actually gone ... and I cannot imagine that I will never have the chance to talk to her or see her again (at least in "this" life). I am experiencing much of what you all seem to be feeling ... sadness, depression, not wanting to speak or spend time with others, etc. They say that "time heals" but I know that I will never be the same again. My poor Dad is so sad too, as he lost his love of 60 years. They met when she was 13. I worry so much about him now ... we are very close too and we have been spending much time together. My family/siblings are extremely close also, but sometimes, I feel like even they cannot provide the comfort I need. We are all grieving in different ways and at different paces, which I suppose is normal. I have cried every day for the past 92 days and believe that it is good to work through the grief process naturally. I read in one of my grief books that death/loss can be "assaulting" on the body and I am definitely emotionally and physically exhausted as never before. Being an athlete, this is very strange for me. I am typically the happy-go-lucky type, but losing my Mom has really rocked my world. Everything reminds me of her ... I can't listen to music right now & break down when any sad song comes on the radio when I am out. Forget going to CVS. I even cried today watching a "Snickers" commercial, as it was her favorite candy bar and I always used to give her one with her birthday gifts. Very, very sad here and looking to communicate with others who "get it". Anyway, I just thought I would share my story with all of you who undoubtedly understand what I am going through. I feel for you guys too ...

Be well and thanks for reading,

Maureen

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Hi Maureen. I am so sorry about your mom. It is just the worst thing to go through, especially in your situation being so unexpected. Everything that you are going through is normal (which I found out when I found this site). Someone is always willing to lend an ear...I'm glad you have found us.

Big hugs to you!

Take care...Lori

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Maureen,

I am glad you found this site. I am so,so sorry about your mom. I lost my mom Dec.06. I don't really remember much from the first 3 months after her death. I am sure you have read all the posts about the fog and being numb. I do remember when that lifted a little and I was able to function a little more, but the pain seemed so much worse. I know the months ahead will be so hard for you and your family. Know that you are not alone and keep coming back to post. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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Maureen,

Welcome to the board and my deepest sympathies. I lost my dad two and a half years ago and my mom on the 7th of this month. I'm afraid that the "getting worse before it gets better" is true, but in a weird way, you will also get stronger as time goes on. "Time heals".....no, it doesn't ever heal, but it gets easier to cope with your loss. Everything you are going through is normal, as you have realized by now, reading other posts. It's good that have family that you are close to. Just keep hanging onto each other and helping each other. Your dad is lucky to have you too. Keep posting, we are here for each other day and night!

Hugs to you and your family,

Shell

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Hi Maureen and All,

I have come here often over the past year because I too lost my mom. It will be a year on August 1st. I come here when I need comfort and need to know that others feel the same way I do. I came here today because this past weekend we buried my mom. After, her passing we had her cremated then this past weekend we took her to her home town in Iowa and buried her next to her parents. I was doing so well with her passing but this trip and burying her has stirred up so many emotions. I think too that seeing her family and friends did not help because I saw them there and kept thinking mom should be with us. I feel robbed as well because she was so young (66) and most of the woman in her family have lived into her mid 80's. I feel like I was cheated out of 20 more years to be with her. I miss her so much and want to talk to her. Does the pain ever go away.

Libby

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