Feeling Fatigued And Really Weighed Down

[Whiteswan]

Hi all. I haven't been on this site since Nov 06 . My Mom who I love dearly passed April 2/06 and it has been a very rough road -- the roughest I've ever walked. Around Christmas I just tried to do all the traditional things for my son's sake and actually started to enjoy life -- not a big party type of enjoy but at least I could smile and laugh a bit. The crying/wailing in grief related pain had subsided and I thought I was 'over' it all. Last week I started feeling very heavy and tired , like a massive weight was pressing down on me (it has almost an energy of its own) and I felt like I was literally being pulled downward into a deep dark hole. I went about my business and tried to brush it off but would at times take naps during the day due to the tiredness. Today after 10 and a half hours sleep last night I still had this tiredness so laid on my bed and very distinctly heard my Mom's voice in my head say "Let it out." and I burst out crying ! Wailing again. It will be 15 month on July 2nd and I almost feel like she just died yesterday again. I can't believe I still have this much pain! I never had this much for anyone else I have ever lost. My Mom and I were very close and I think that is why. I don't know if the tiredness is caused by the grief that is still in me . Anyone else had this after this long? Marty, maybe you too can give me some insight here? Thanks all.

[shell]

Whiteswan.

Perfectly normal. Grief can ebb and flow, so to speak. And it can come out of nowhere, even after you've been "in control" for a time. I just lost my Mom the 7th of June and she and I were very close too. Losing her was the hardest. I'm sure it's going to take a long, long time to grieve for her.

Hugs,

Shell

[Stallyn]

As Shell says it is a normal occurance, most of the time I fall asleep, even with medication to relive depression,I think in due time it will wane down as the grief becomes less active in your life, I still experience it after 4 months and wonder when it will end, I know I dont have the loss you have expericenced for such a time, perhaps a doctor could help?

Blessings,

William

[LoriS.]

Whiteswan...I am so sorry about the loss mf your mom. I know exactly how you feel. The tiredness, retreating from everything, crying, etc. Like Shell says it's normal. There is a natural flow of sadness and happiness and hopefully the happiness will be more frequent in the months ahead. I was doing really bad in the beginning, than pretty good, than bad again, now pretty good and on it goes I guess. Maybe you should see your doctor or councelor. I will be thinking of you.

Take care...Lori