I Woke Up Looking For My Wife!

[Stallyn]

Well, Here it goes, I somehow woke myself up asking "Myrna are you there?" I looked to the right side of the bed where she used to sleep, and really was convinced she was there, like a time warp back 6 months! I am beginning to question if I am really handling this loss as well as I should? Some days I just can't think about her, if I do I spiral down, I am sooo Tired and restless, my future seems questionable, I haven't felt true happiness in such a long time now, I even tried to tell myself I had a bad marriage or she hates me to lessen the pain.

William

[karenb]

You sure sound "normal" to me, William. I've done those things, too. My thing is I'd like to dream about him but in my dreams I'm always searching for something. I just can't picture his face in my dreams but someone is always there with me. We sure do go through strange things when we lose someone we love. I pray for a good night for you and some peace.

Your friend, Karen

[Stallyn]

Karen,

Always a pleasure to hear from you! I found it unnerving to have it happen the 2nd time, Sure seems strange things are always becoming of us, at the same token, it seems forever shes been gone and sometimes the shock still hits me that she is indeed gone..

William

[shell]

William,

I agree with Karen, you sound normal to me! Grief plays strange tricks on your mind. And six months is a short time. Like you said, it can seem like forever one day and like it was yesterday the next day, but it is a short time for grief. My dad has been gone for two and a half years and I sometimes still can't believe he's actually gone. My mom just died June 7th and it seems like a long time ago some days, others like it was yesterday. I still can't believe she's gone either. I still expect to see her in the house! Just hang in there and don't be alarmed about these things you are experiencing. You're ok, just tired, lonely and grieving.

Big hugs to you,

Shell

[lorikelly]

William

I still somedays think that my mom is still here. maybe just in the hospital and i should go see her. she will be gone 1 yr tomorrow. i think it is normal (well i hope so or i am crazy.). we are all here for you. lori

[Stallyn]

Thanks Guys,

I been thinking alot of what conspired in the moments of her death and afterwards, I wonder if she truly loved me, though her brother said some evil things I can't shake out of my mind, its depressing me, I don't talk to any of her friends after I had the spat with him, right now I am perplexed on how peoples behavior has been, thanks for your support always,

William

[shell]

Oh William,

I'm so sorry about her brothers remarks. It is amazing how mean people can be...the "kick you when your down" thing! My Mom had Alzheimers and would say terrible things to me...things she would never had said years ago. But after awhile I would wonder if she really meant them, even though I knew it was the AD talking. I had to firmly remind myself that she did love me and didn't mean the things she said. Even though it's not the same situation, I know what you are going through about wondering about things later. I'm sure your wife loved you. In your heart you know the truth. And try to stay away from people who want to hurt you, you don't need that now. Hang in there.

Hugs,

Shell

[AnnieO]

LoriK

You are in my thoughts today. I hope today your heart will be filled with happy memories of your mom.

[Stallyn]

Shell,

Never in my life have I been treated such a villian, well I am trying to make the best of my situation now, fortunately I don't communicate to anyone that Myrna knew, I think they will reap what they sowed, but I think alot about my wife saying things behind my back that made things evolve into what they were, she had a difficult childhood and no a good outlook on men in general, she was venting at me since I was the only man in her life, I wish I could tell her how much pain she caused me, I don't think I will get involved in another relationship.

William

[Trudy1964]

Lorikelly,

I said a prayer for you today.

Missing my Mom (also),

Trudy

[karenb]

I know from your posts that your situation doesn't seem to be very good with family, etc. You seem to have a lot that you're thinking about with regard to your life with your wife. It kind of seems to me, even though she hasn't been gone that long, that sometimes we tend to dwell and think about things maybe too much and it sure tires our brains and emotions out. Getting our minds off of things with doing something we like to do might help, if we can find something we do like to do in these hard times. I do pray for you and I very much hope that you can find a little peace. If you can, when you have a grieving thought or feeling, change it in your mind to something better....it takes a very conscious decision to do that and sometimes has to be done again and again. You take care.

Your friend....Karen

[Stallyn]

Karen,

You are so right, I have had ALOT of time thinking about the past since the future for me doesn't seem to have good prospects, I want to meet people but out here with the climate and my health at times seems to drag me down, I need some peace so badly, I know prayers always get answered, And are you doing ok today?

And Lori, I hope to hear you are doing fine..

Blessings to you,

Your friend William

[karenb]

Prayers do get answered and if the answer isn't what you want at the time, further on you may find that they really were answered correctly. I feel we really need to look carefully to try and see what may be right for us. You are a caring person and deserve good. I am doing so much better. It really is one day at a time. Take care and care for yourself.

Karen

[walter/Erica]

Hello, I lost my husband 5 months ago i have had the experience where i wake up in the middle of the night and it feels like my husband is in bed with me what is that ? is it normal? have any of you feel this

I know that he is in heaven, so I am trying to make sense of this..maybe its my imagination. it would be nice if he really was present at times with me in bed

[Stallyn]

Walter/Erica,

It is a interesting question, though I personally believe they can visit for a short time to comfort you, I have had several incidences where my late wife side of the bed was pressed down right next to me. Yes he IS with you many times, I know God is merciful to allow it...Its perfectly normal

Blessings to you,

William

[AnnC]

My mother has been widowed for 8 months now, but my parents were married for 56 years. She says sometimes she wakes up when the phone rings and asks my dad to answer it.

Here's the thing: my ex-husband and I were close friends at the end of his life (we divorced because he was gay, but remained friends). He died more than three years ago. But I have awakened more than once during these past three years feeling he was sitting or lying on the bed with me. Once I woke up and heard him breathing! And we have been divorced for more than 20 years. I do think they visit us, to help us through. I still have very warm comforting dreams where I spend time with him.

Ann