Mama's Birthday

[lavender]

Evidently my computer is slow or something today and the posts are not showing up. But my mom's birthday is coming up on 7/7/07. She died on 5/30/07 at the age of 84. I am 50 and feel as though my world is shattered! I miss mama so much! My son, granddaughter and myself wrote on a balloon Sat. and let it drift away into the sky - it when way up in the clouds almost as if going to heaven. I am going to get 2 or 3 more balloons for mama's birthday and do the same with them as a rememberance to her. I don't know but everyday seems so hard. I live next door to them - my daddy is also 84. So I am in their house everyday. I try not to go into her room that often. It just hurts so bad! I never really dreamed of being without my mama.

[shell]

Lavender,

I know exactly how you feel...I lost my mom the 7th of June. I still can't believe it and the house is just so empty without her here. Like there is always something missing. I sent baloons to my mom and dad too. It gives you a peaceful feeling somehow. I just try to remember how strong my mom was and vow that I'm going to be strong too. I just want to roll up in a little ball and cry the rest of my life away, but we have to go on and make the best of it, I guess. Easier said than done, I know. Hang in there and take care of your dad, as I'm sure you're already doing!

A big hug to you,

Shell

[lorikelly]

It is hard. this anniversarys, birthdays and holidays always seem so much worse. i wonder why. do you think b/c we dwell on it. i think i do. my moms 1yr anniversary was yesterday 7/2/07 and i still can't believe i have not seen her for 1 yr. i keep think when i am 78, it will be 40yrs since i have seen her. itsn't that a crazy way to think. i tried to tell myself that on those days i will not miss her any less or more, i just miss her so. i just pray that we all can continue to go on and do the best that we can do. i am not sure if it ever really gets easier we just learn to cope with it a little better. lori

[LoriW]

lavender...

Hugs and comfort to you. I know how difficult it is. My own Mom's birthday is July 8th. This is the 2nd birthday since she has passed. I remember last year, it was difficult for me...especially as I began my day. I even think that it was the day that hurt the most.....because...it was HER day. It wasn't about any one else but my Mom. But...as I got into my day I did find some peace...I didn't cry at the end of my day like I did at the beginning. I began it by going to the cemetery and placing flowers and took one of my daughters who wanted to get Gramma a Spongebob Balloon. Then I took her and my other daughter to spend the afternoon with my Dad. We went to mass with him, as it was said for her, and then to eat with my parent's good friends. After that we played a game my Mom had taught the girls until nearly midnight. It's a tough day....but I am sure you will find a way to make it meaningful and you will feel the warmth of you Mom's love envelope you and though she may not be near physically her presence is very real. God bless you.

Lori

[lavender]

Yesterday started very emotional for me. Mama's 85th birthday! I went to the mausoleum for awhile. I cried the whole way home. I bought 2 birthday balloons and wrote on them different things - like Happy 85th birthday in heaven, etc. I let them go and watched them go way way up! It was a sad day - I kept thinking now what would I have gotten mama for her birthday today! Well the last part of the day after crying alot - was a bit better! I miss her so much! When I went to the mausoleum - Virginia a girl that works in the office told me mama's picture and poem had come back. It is an 8x10 - a face picture of mama with a ocean background and a really pretty poem. It also showed born and died dates! That was emotional too!

[LoriS.]

Hang in there, Lavender, I know it's tough. Happy Birthday to your mom up in heaven!

Take care...Lori

[shell]

Lavender,

What an emotional day for you! But it sounds like you made it through pretty well...good for you. I miss my mom so much too...it just is so damn sad. I feel a constant sense of just plain old loss. A huge whole in my life. Hang in there.

Hugs,

Shell

[STARKISS]

Hi Lavender,

I remember the first time I celebrated my mom's birthday without her... I went to a nearby park and released a balloon in her favorite colour and song one of her favorite songs and also read a page from her favorite book... Hang in there it does get better Take care Shelley

[curlyredheads]

Hi Lavender,

I love your idea of releasing balloons on your mom's birthday. My mother's birthday is on July 19th and I was trying to think of something to do to honor her. This will be the first birthday since she passed. She would have been 67. It is going to be a hard day for me because I think of how young she was when she died and how many more years she should have lived as well as all the years I have to live without her. I miss her each and every day.

Libby

[rosanne]

Libby,

I know how you feel, my mom passed away.

Rosanne

[rosanne]

Saturday was my mom's birthday. They put their tombstone down Wed. but my brothers and I decided not to tell dad because we would all be going to the cemetery Sat. morning. I went early Sat. and cleaned the tombstone and put flowers in both vases that I had fixed. My daughter picked up 8 balloons and three roses that I had ordered at the flower shop. When I drove dad toward the grave he could not believe that the stone was there, and he had not ever seen it- because he left it up to me and my brothers to pick it out. Facing the road as you drive up to it- is a man and a woman with their arms around each other walking up a path and there are snow covered mountains all around them (I wanted that because mom loved the German mountains) and following them is a small Pomeranian (they lost their little Pomeranian 4 months before mom died, they had him for 15 years, he was like their baby).

Everyone got a balloon and at the count of three we all let our balloon go and watched them until they were out of sight. I will do this on every birthday and the day of her death- I know it sounds crazy but, it gave me a good feeling for a couple of minutes.

Then my daughter put her red rose on the grave and I put the two on her grave and we cried! Mom's name was Rose, my name is Rosanne and my daughter's name is Ingrid Rose and we always called each other the three Roses (now there are only 2) !

I did not know if I could go through it, but I did. It was hard so very hard.... I just had to share this with you, because I knew you would understand.