Jump to content

Where Do I Belong?


STARKISS

Recommended Posts

Hi All,

I keep hearing about all the lost furbabies and I am so sad to hear about everyone's lost loves... But I do not know where I belong because Chelsea is still alive but I do not see her anymore and I feel in my heart that she is gone... I know this might sound weird to people but when I got her she was five weeks old and in 2005 I had to say good bye to her because I could not keep her with me and she went to live with my brother... But now my brother does not let me see her anymore and I just do not understand where I belong because she is not dead but to me it feels like it.... Shelley

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi LoriS,

I think it has to do with learning to drive, You see I do not want to learn and they (the family) have insisted on me learning... So if I do not learn than no one will take me to see Chelsea.... I can make it on the bus as far as Port Perry but not to his house which is about ten miles outside of there... So this is just a way to make me drive... Shelley

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi LoriS,

Thank you for your reply, You see my family is like that now they think that they can bully each other around to get things done.... I stay away from most of them for that reason... I just think what my mom would say if she were here... She would not be happy... Take care Shelley

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was going to ask the same question myself. That's so sad, Shelley. Stuff like that can often happen after a mom dies, for whatever reasons. Do you think you could learn to drive, and use that frustration to accomplish that? I'd love to see your family 'get off your back' about this if you did! I guess Chelsea's absence is sort of like the kind of grief people have when their furries go missing.....very tough.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Maylissa,

Sorry, but learning to drive is not that simple for me... You see I had something very upsetting happen when I was a kid and I have not been able to get over it... So you see I am not just being hard to get along with but have a real problem with the whole ideal of learning to drive... My parents always wanted me to learn but no one really understands my problem with it... It will be something I will need to get help with I guess... Thanks for your reply and the encouragement Shelley

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No, I honestly didn't think you were just being "hard to get along with" re: the driving. I can understand how traumatic things affect people. My MIL had a very bad accident when she was younger and had hardly ever driven herself since. But they bought a new car recently and we were so surprised to hear she was actually enjoying driving again! Never would have suspected that to happen!

I wish you the best in finding whatever help you might, for whatever ails you in that respect. Perhaps you could ask a qualified professional to speak to your siblings about this, on your behalf, so someone might agree to drive you again? Just a friendly suggestion, as I don't know your exact circumstances. Feel free to disregard it if it doesn't fit!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Maylissa,

I think I am just going to leave it the way it is because I know from past experiences with my family it is better left alone... To do with Chelsea I have lots of pictures of her and I will just have to make the best of it the way it is... I have let her go and now it is time to move on.... Thanks for caring Shelley

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 10 months later...

Hi All,

The driving thing is not happening I have such a fear I just can not do it... I have not seen Chelsea since Christmas eve and miss her tons... I have been told I get to see her for two weeks so I am hoping nothing goes wrong with that... until than I will pray very hard that my brother changes his mind and will bring chelsea to visit soon... Shelley

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 years later...

Hi All I still do not know where I belong now that Chelsea is gone and my parents I have no one really to hold on too... My family is still here but they have their own families and I find myself left out so much lately... Shelley

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Shelley, dear, I so wish I had a magic wand in the trunk of my car that I could pull out whenever I want to wave it ~ and I surely do wish I could make some magic happen for you. Alas, I cannot ~ all I can do ~ all any of us can do ~ is to assure you that you are a valued and important part of our family here, and when you ask "Where Do I Belong," we can say "You belong right here, with all the rest of us who are walking this path."

I don't know if you spend any time reading some of the posts in the other forums, but I hope you will, as I think it will help you to feel less alone in your struggles, and along the way you may find some inspiration too. Every person here is struggling, Shelley, even though our individual stories may differ in the details. Every one of us carries a load of pain and loneliness, and even though we each must find our own way to carry that load, I think it really helps to see how others manage to carry theirs.

There is so much wisdom here ~ the sort of wisdom that is hard-won, because it comes from experience ~ and I hope you're finding it helpful.

For example, have you read Kay C's post in the Feeling Slower thread? She writes,

If you can't change the circumstances in your life, at least you can change what you can...this doesn't weigh in the things we do to counter the stress such as regular walks, eating healthy, trying to do fun relaxing things, going to the doctor regularly, taking medicine as prescribed, spending time with friends or family, owning pets, etc. so I don't think it shows an entirely accurate picture if you're just going by the numbers. prayer, meditation and/or yoga is also said to help curb stress. Laughter is good for the soul so if you can enjoy a comedy it's good. Trying to stay in the moment and not take on the whole rest of your life helps too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, that was yesterday. Today I wrote a more depressing post. But that's how it is I guess, we are doing better one day, then worse another. But that also shows you are not alone in this struggle, we all have them. I'm having a hard time today because of the holiday...and New Year's was never even a big deal to me...it's just that I know if George were here, we'd be enjoying it together because neither of us would have to work. Normally the church has something going on but this year they don't. They didn't even do a Christmas program this year. It's kind of the pits. It's like everyone else has their families to spend these times with but we're alone. I do still have my dog, I'm grateful for that, they're wonderful. Shelley, have you considered adopting another dog? I don't know where you live, if you're in an apt. or what, but some will allow small dogs. I didn't get Arlie until a few months after Lucky passed, but I'm so glad I did. he's nothing like her, but in many ways we're closer because of his extraordinary personality. He's not as easy as she was, not trained, not small, but he's so much fun and so loving! Maybe you could think on it...

anyway, if you read my post in "loss of spouse" today, I think you'll know you're not alone in how you're feeling...and maybe it's just the holiday that seems to make it worse today. Maybe in a week we won't feel quite as we do today.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Shelley, I hope you will read and re-read Marty's post above. You ARE part of us. We are all in pain, feeling lost and alone...and as we listen to each other through our own pain, it helps us feel less alone. I understand that you want a loving family and Chelsea around you-I know that pain too....we all do. We are here for you....riding the roller coaster, standing firm (or not) as the tsunamis come in and carry us to tough places...

Peace in knowing you do belong,

Mary

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...