New Here

[MVanessa]

Hello, my name is Monika and I am new here. My Dad died in 2003 and grandpa died in May. I have had other losses, but my dad's has been the worst. This year has been more difficult, and I find myself without friends and support, and hysterical crying through the night.

[shell]

Monika,

Welcome to the site and my deepest sympathies for your losses. No friends or support and hysterical crying? Sounds very familiar! Unfortunately, many of us have found our "friends" disappeared when we needed them. That's how many of us ended up on this wonderful site and have formed our own support group! We are the friends that aren't there and feel like a family. We all understand grief, something that many of our friends sadly don't, yet. As far as the hysterical crying, please know that's totally normal. My dad died two and a half years ago, and my mom just last month, and I have been hysterically crying for two and a half years! Grief takes a long time to cope with, so don't worry that you're going off the deep end. You're not, you're grieving. I hope you continue to post, it helps so much to talk about it with people who know what you're going through.

Hugs to you,

Shell

[Jan 44]

Monika, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad and my Mom 4 years ago. Mom died just 4 months after Dad. She was my best friend. I always kidded with her that our long distance phone calls were better and cheaper than therapy. I was making a lot of progress with learning to live with the pain - enjoying all those special memories of together time with her. Three months ago I lost my other best friend - My beloved husband of 42 years, David. I needed so badly to be able to talk to Mom - to get some of her strength to get through this. Now, at least for the time being, I almost feel like I'm back at square one with my grieving for Mom. I try to remember that with time, I will one day learn to live with all this pain and find some joy in life again. However, I also know that it will take a lot of time and grief to get to that place. As a child, I always remember my Mom telling me during difficult times "This too shall pass". Hang in there and be gentle with yourself.

[shell]

Jan,

My mom always said that too. It is so hard to try to get through something so traumatic when the one person you could always go to is gone. It's good that you know that grieving takes a lot of time, but you've already learned that lesson. My dad died two and a half years ago, so when my mom passed away last month, I already "knew the drill". It doesn't help ease the pain, but I think it does help you cope better because you already know what you're going to go through. Our moms were right..."this too shall pass".

Hugs,

Shell

[rosanne]

I am also new here, my mom died June 10th- I have so many feelings, sometimes I think I am going to loose my mind. I need friends, I need someone to know what I am going through.

Rosanne

[shell]

Rosanne,

Please believe me when I say that you are not losing your mind, you are grieveing. Almost all of us here have thought we were losing our minds too. Getting your feelings out and getting some feedback is so important and will help you heal. I'm so glad you came here. It's an important first step and I hope you will continue to come back and share your feelings with us.

A big hug to you,

Shell