Bad Day

[Gail_R]

Well today has been a very hard day for me. My first birthday without Bruce. I just cann't believe that he is not here with us anymore. Today I turned 49' My mom and dad came down to stay with me. So when I got up this morning there was a dozen red roses on the table and I cried like a baby because that is what Bruce bought me every year for my birthday. I know that they meant well but it hurt like hell. It has benn just over 6 months since he die and I don't think that I can make it without him. Why would god be so cruel has to give such a wonderful man and then just take him way from me like that. In a month and a half we would be celabrating our 31st anniversary. We had so many plan for the future and now things have changed. I went to our friends son's wedding this past weekend. Our youngest son took me thought I was doing great and then they played that song that Bruce and I always danced to and I broke down and cried on my son's shoulder god it hurts and this makes so many people uncomfortable. Sometimes I think that it so much easlier just to stay home. God I hope that this will get better because it just hurt to much. Sometimes just wish that I could go and be with him. I don't want to be here if he is not here with me.

Gail

[karenb]

Well, I celebrate your 31st. How many wonderful 31 years you did have. I'm so sorry...it's just hard. You have family and they care abour you and that's part of your wonderful 31 years. You have had a wonderful husband that still loves you even though he's got other things for God that he has to do now. You must be a wonderful person with that kind of love in you. My husband has been gone for two years now and, of course, I still love him and remember all the wondefull things but, slowly but surely with God's love I'm moving forward. Take wonderful care of yourself, feel what you need to feel whenever you feel it, cry, hold hands, remember and just love those great memories. We love you and hope you'll come back and tell us how you're doing.

Karen

[teny]

HI Gail IM TENY Im sosorry for your loss Irealy know how it feels I lost the love of My life 9 months ago I realy dont know why GOd separates loving couples,I just dont know how to give you confort beacause Idit not find yet myself,I only want you to know that I think of you.

[missingcharlie]

Gail - My heart goes out to you! I lost my husband 13 days before I turned 50 and it was absolutely the worst birthday...I don't even remember it. We were supposed to have a party and be celebrating, instead I was grieving and mourning the loss of the most wonderful man that ever came into my life. This November will be 3 years, 3 birthdays I have spent without him. It is so hard to believe that I have gone on this long without him, but I have by just taking it one step at a time. It's a long journey and ALL of us here are here to help. We're here to listen and to lend a shoulder to cry on.

As I said, it's been almost 3 years for me and I still come here EVERY day. Quite often I don't write anything, but I read all the posts here. This website has been very helpful to me - all the people here completely understand what you are going through; it's comforting to know that there are others out there going through the same feelings. It's a kindred friendship and I often wish I could meet each one of them and just give them a hug.

I think that Bruce "told" your mom and dad to get those roses for you! They were actually from him - he just couldn't be here to get them for you himself. You have to remember that he is around you all the time. Talk to him, cry with him and just continue to keep him a part of your heart.

I know you can get through this! There are people counting on you and trust that you and Bruce will be together again - you just have to wait your turn. We are here to help in anyway we can.

Hugs to you, Gail!

Patti

[kayc]

Gail,

Wow, I read your post and it sounds just like one I have written before and so many other people's. We have all felt like we just wanted to go be with them, that we don't want to be here without them. I am sorry you are hurting, I wish I could tell you to have a happy birthday and you would...my first birthday without George no one remembered me and I cried myself to sleep...he always made a big deal of my birthday, he never would have forgotten me. It's hard, I know. Take care, it will get better, it'll just take time.