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My daughter Tamara passed away suddently Nov 16, 2002 at 8:01 pm. Tam had just celebrated her 26th birthday three weeks before she died. She to our knowledge had not been sick. I left her at 7:15 and 46 minutes later she was dead. They said there was a problem with her heart. The pain sometimes is so unbearable until I feel like crawling in a hole and dying myself. But she left a 10 month old, who is now almost 2 and a half and she is one of the reasons I do go on. My family all seem to have been able to cope but my heart hurts every day. I've been to counseling and that helped some, but how do you get past the days and nights, the missed phone calls and surprise visits. As I watch that little girl grow into a little replica of her mom, it hurts all the more. Just a few months before Tam died, I lost my uncle who was like a father to me, and two months after that my aunt (his wife) passed away. They were parents to me and helped me to raise my children. I was in the military and they were always the ones who cared for my children in my absence, and seven months later I lost my Tam. I'm unhappy and don't know where to turn. My other children ages 23, 22, and 17 try to comfort me as best they could. I go through the motions but inside I'm a wreck. Most people will sympathize, but they really don't understand.

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I am so sorry about your loss. I said a prayer for you to find peace in the midst of your despair. I recently lost both my mother and my brother. I know the unbearable pain.

I have a suggestion for you. I have found a great place with many caring people that will respond to your posts on their message boards. They also have chat rooms with moderators that will assist you and lift you up while you are grieving and feeling alone. Please visit there....it is called HALO. Here is the link....


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Thanks Penny

I will look into the site you suggested. I don't want to go on like this. I keep hearing that time makes things better, but that's no solace for the anguish I feel at the present. I know that God is there and my life is richer for the ones who have gone on to be with Him, but the emptiness that's left behind is overwhelming. Thank you for taking the time to pray for me. I will make sure that I pray for you because your heartfelt words were appreciated.

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You are welcome Hon. You are right...no one understands that hasn't been in your situation. I don't have children...but I've heard that losing a child is the worst pain that there is. I can't imagine anything hurting anymore than what I am experiencing. May God help you...for it must be unbearable.

There are many people at HALO that have lost children. My heart simply aches for them. Please join us there. I know beyond a doubt that you will find some comfort there...or at least someone who truly understands your loss. Many hugs to you.

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  • 4 months later...

I am so sorry for your loss...

Yours 4ever

Sometimes i feel like your with me

But your not

I am alone

Alone with the memories of you

I long to see your smile

You beautiful eyes

I am thinking of all the things i should have said

I am wondering what you are doing at this very moment

Are you lonely?

Are you afraid?

Are you in peace?

If i came up there in heaven

Would you still remember me...remember my name?

Iv'e got all these questions, that never will get any answers

It's hard to know that i never will be able to hold you again

Hug you

Tell you how i feel

Some day we will meet again, but not yet....

Not yet my dear friend.....

Yours forever

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  • 2 months later...

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