Growing In Grief

[sufferindon]

Dear friends I'm sorry for the reason your here.

My passed away exactly 5 month ago today. She took her last breath at 12:30 PM. I'm trully greatfull for hopsice of the valley to be there for us to let that happen. if she was in the hospital that would not of happened. they would have me too leave so they could try and revive her.

But I knew in my heart that her fight with complications from diabetes was comming to an end and that she was going to home to be with God.

No more loosing legs or other limbs. No more Dialysis. She is in no more pain.

So today as I reflect on our time together. I wish I would have had more time to spend with her. 4 and years is not that long. But She was my life my wife.my world.

I have not worked since 12/28/03. Today on the 5 month anniversary I got a job. Praise the Lord. I won't be making much money. But today for me there is more important things in life then money. I have my health. my blood sugars have never been better in the morning.

I now at look at my life as starting over. I'm starting from scratch.

I know I won't for get my Rhonda. But I will see her again.

Now it's time for me to start living my new life with out her. To tell you the truth it scares me to death. But with God I know nothing else can happen to me that will cause me pain like the pain I have experienced with the loss of my wife.

Today I can't explain the peace I have. but it's there.

I know I will have to sell our house. But it's just a house. i can get another place to live. I also know there will not be another Rhonda. but i'm not looking to replace her. but soon I want to start dating again. I am very lonely.

I hope this helps a few of you.I wish you all the best on your journey through your grief.