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Made The Decision Today


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Hello,

Today was the day I had been dreading. Today, I made the decision to stop my dad's treatment and put him on "comfort care only". I still can't believe I did it, can't believe I said the words out loud. My dad had a horrible night and morning.I got to the nursing home as soon as I was done with the movers at his house...I was shocked at the change in him, in just 2 days. I met with the nursing staff, they had paged his doctor and the dr called while I was there. He said, there is nothing more we can do. I know that is right, I know I did what my family believes is the right thing to do.And I even know it is what my dad would want. But as I stood there, I was so scared and alone.

I went and sat with my dad afterwards and most of the time he slept, he would wake up and say things that didn't make sense. I asked him if he knew who I was. No, he shook his head. I told him I was his daughter. Then he shook his head yes. Then I told him I was his "favorite daughter" he smiled and said,"yes his favorite". I smiled to myself..I am his only daughter, I used to always joke about being "the favorite". I close on his house this Friday, walk out of that house for the last time on Sat. The I will go and sit with my dad until he dies, I don't know if I can tell him I forgive him but I will hold his hand. Thanks for listening.

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Annie,

I know how you feel about having to let your father go, when I had to get rid of my moms feeding tube, it was the hardest thing because you're letting them die and that's the one thing you don't want. Just to let you know, if he goes into a coma, my mom was in one for a day and a half, he can still hear you so tell him whatever comes to your heart. When I talked to my mom her eyes would roll, so I knew she hears me. It is very strong of you to stand by him and hold his hand, you should be proud of yourself.

I'm sure Saturday will be really hard for you. My thoughts are with you and I'll put you and your dad on my prayer list.

big hugs

Dawn

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Annie,

God Bless YOU! One step at a time- One day at a time, do not look any further- this is all we have anyway.

I know your feelings- my mom was so sick and asked me to help her to please, not let her suffer- and what did I do called Hospice to start coming in, I still question myself on this... but, there was no other choice- I could not make her better. If love could have saved her she would have lived forever.

Praying for you!

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