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I'm Sad/mad/confused/angry

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I'm so sad right now. My mom didn't have a will, she was in denial and didn't change the benificiary of her life insurance policies. Everything went to her husband, whom she didn't really want to be with any longer. He is a total @sshole. The day my mom got home from the hospital she was going to call and have a beni form faxed but she was so out of it that it was too late. Now he has everything, he won't even let us kids go to the farm and get her stuff, all of it was hers, he never paid for a damn thing. She paid for everything, he just mooched off of her for 20 yrs. I hate that man, you have no idea how much I hate that man. My mom wanted us to have her stuff, she told us what she wanted us to have and he won't let us have any of it. My mom signed a power of attorney over her medical care and burial rights to us kids.....well once it came time to get the burial stuff going, we found out that the hospice of the lakes didn't have my mom initial certain spots, so we had to split up her ash's. I had a dream one day that mom and I were driving in her car and I said mom, i know you don't like to talk about this stuff but you know that jerry isn't letting us have anything, she said, dawn I know I'm working on it, it's not fair. I feel that she's not at peace because of what is happening with her husband and it really breaks my heart.

He didn't even notify her bank that she died, I had to do it and I had to notify social security too, he cashed her check!!! he's in deep trouble because she was already gone, he owes all that money back, it would have been her first check and she was ready to spend spend spend, we were going to go to san francisco this month :(

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After my dad died, my mom went and had her will updated and my brother and I had wills made. I more or less instigated this and everyone was all for it, thank heavens. It is so sad when people have to go through what you are right now. We all tend to put off making wills and such, but everyone, no matter what age you are, should do it. It makes it so much easier for the ones you leave behind. And it's not pleasant to think about, but you just never know what's going to happen.

I hope her husband gets what he deserves for cashing her check! Maybe someday you will be in a position to get her things...I hope so. Hang in there.



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Dawn G:

My story is similiar to yours. My father passed away suddenly. Leaving 3 children and a stepmother behind.

My father didn't have a will. So, needless to say it was over one year before his estate settled. My stepmom went completely against my brothers and I.

For one she opened my dad's estate one day after the man was buried, (he died on a Friday, and was buried on a Sunday). To make things worse my dad's beloved brother wrote us all off as well, all because of money and greed. See my dad was born in a different country, he shared a great deal of land (which has oil on it) with his siblings. My oldest brother tried to find out about my dads land, because rightfully his share should go to his kids and I guess the evil stepmom.

It's sad because my youngest brother is only 15 and this share of my dad's land could help him through college, etc. My uncle hasn't spoke to us for almost 2 years, we believe because of greed.

Also, my stepmom would not let us have anything of my dads, except I was lucky enough to get my dad's watch (and a Chicago bears jacket, I took out of his car because I got it for him for Christmas). Just a week ago she called and asked for my dad's watch back, even saying she would pay me for it. Can you believe that? I hung the phone up on her. Good luck, god bless. Dee

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I know exactly how you feel, this has nothing to do with my mom's death.

But, my mother-in-law had alzheimer about 6 years ago- and we pretty much knew she had it by the way she was acting- my sister-in-law, kept on calling us and wanting her mother to see a specialist and be diagnosed for alzheimer's-which we really did not see what that would help, because it would change nothing! We gave in and took her to a specialist and she and her husband met us at the doctor's office, and the doctor diagnosed her as having it- that very night- she called my husband and said I just wanted to let you know I took a 20,000 dollar CD out of mom's account...............

My husband and I took care of his mother by ourselves until that lady died, his sister did not want to be involved in picking out her clothes to be buried in nothing- she told me to take care of it!!!! We had to use our money on a lot of the things for his mom- because she lived 4 years after she was diagnosed- and there was no contact with his sister at all until she died.

We do not speak to this day.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Boy, can I ever relate to how you must be feeling. My Mom had a severe stroke and lingered for 7 days. I called my sister and she flew out to be here. The whole time she was here, it was all about her--never mind that my husband, children, and grandchildren where there for her daily for 25 years. Mom died at 3:18 May 1st and my sister was on a plane by 6:30am that morning. I didn't know what hit me. Mom just died and we had to worry about flights. Then to boot, the Saturday before she died, Mom's life was wiped out in 30 gallon trash bags under the guise that it was a big help to me. I'm just now realizing that I didn't have the sense to realize what the ramifications would be later. I had promised Mom that if she ever died, I would take her ashes back home. My sister couldn't even bother to pick me up at the airport. There's more yucks to the story, but yes I, too, am angry and bitter and feeling betrayed. My precious Mom must be crying tears in Heaven because she always wanted her children to remain close.

People say that I should dust my feet and move on, but right now, I can't. Why can't the court intervene? Sounds to me like you are the rightful heirs to the land.

Thinking about you and your frustrations. Hope your tomorrows are better.


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