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Hello All, I trust you are well. its weekend again, how the time flies and yet stands still

I had a week at work in which I wsa more distracted than usual. I just cannot focus, complete tasks, I procrastinte and I feel so guilty at the end of the working day. Its not fair on my employer. The same happens at home, but thats okay, but I worry about feling like this. Its nearly 6 months since Walter passed on. When will I be energised at work, and how can I help myself

It doesnt help that my role in teh organisation is Employee Care. I care for employees health and wellness, lots of counselling

Please advise

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Erica,

It took me the longest the get straightened out at work again. I am still finding mistakes in some of my work that was completed around that time. My problem was I worked around the house like crazy doing repairs and trying not to face my feelings that I was exausted when I came to work. For me the 9th or 10th month was when it started getting better. All I can say is hang in there and ask God for help and he will help you.

Love always

Derek

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Hi Derek

Thank you for your response. Gee, so thats another 2-3 months before I feel improvement in this area. Look at me now, using this time at work to speak with you. At the moment I feel that if I could do this all day, i would.

It actually was a bit better today. I prayed and asked the Lord to help me be more effective and productive today at work and He has. Plesae pray this prayer for me

How is your friendship going? and how is your son doing?

Have a blessed weekend

Erica

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Erica,

I did the same thing for awhile, I was on this site several times during work, and actually I still do, I am at work now. 2 to 3 months seems like a long time away but it will go fast before you know it, it will be gone. Keep praying and God will help. My friendship is going great, it is slowly turning into more that just a friendship. Carson is ready to start 3rd grade on Monday so he is excited about that. Thanks for asking. Talk to you soon.

Love always

Derek

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Erica

I was the same way. i was like a robut for so long just did what i had to do. it took so long to be albe to concentrate. i use to love to read Danielle Steele books and now i can't pick one up. i only read things about real life people, usually about surviving grief or crisis. i just finished reading Love It Mean It by 4 widows from the World Trade Center. i just do what i can. i am praying for you and you keep praying, He will get us all through. Lori

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Feel a little better knowing I am not the only one..

I feel so robotic and so drained and tired, like if I could just lay down I could sleep forever... I think a lot of it is the mental stress.... I am constatly thinking about my situation, my sweet mom, my mind never has a silent thought or no thought at all........ I am making a lot of mistakes, also..... I am not focused.

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Gee, it's been 26 months for me and I still have a hard time concentrating/focusing! It is extremely difficult for me to read and I was an avid reader all my life! I don't know how Dusky has done it.

When I lost George I was fortunate that there was a guy at work who had already experienced deep grief/loss and he briefed everyone on what to expect when I came back and how to best help me and be there for me. It was a very supportive environment. However, I lost my job just a few months later because the business went under, so my supportive "family" disintegrated. All I can say is be very understanding and kind to yourself...you will have plenty of time to make it up to your boss/job later on. There were time I threw myself into my work because I didn't want to go home to an empty house. Unemployment forced me to face my aloneness. That is one of the hardest things to face.

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I agree, it was difficult to focus. I love John Grisom books and alsways bought them almost as soon as they came out. Last year I bought the newest and only read the first few pages and just couldn't go any further. However, with grief books I couldn't put them down, I wanted to know as much as I could so I could get through the pain as fast as I could.

Love always

Derek

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Erica

I know how you feel. Weekends are terrible. Mine was particulary terrible in that I had to go and watch my Dad die this slow, agonizing struggle. I will do it again tommorow. Know that each of us that has come here knows this pain of loss and maybe if we all pull together we can climb this mountain, one rock at a time. I read somewhere that I used to plan for tommorrow but God had a different plan, so I will just let Him plan for tommorow for me. Grief will give you a differnt perspective on suffering, take one day, one hour, one minute if that is what it takes to go on even when you don't want to. You are not alone. I've found through this site more compassionn and understanding than I have anywhere in my journey with this agony.

Suzanne

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Erica,

I am at that point also, almost six months for me and I can't seem to sleep correctly, or concentrate, I look at it normalcy for awhile.

God bless,

William

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I went through that years ago...watched my beloved mother in law die of cancer...she was bedridden nearly three years and I took care of her in her home. She was the mother I'd always wanted, my best friend, and I loved her so much, yet I had to watch her die the slowest most agonizing death. There is nothing that compares to that. Even though George's death was a shock to me, and I was totally unprepared for it, I'm glad he didn't die that slow death like she did, it's so hard to helplessly watch.

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Kayc,

from all the time I known you, you have been incredibly strong because of it, its such a terrible thing to witness, do you still think about it?

William

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William,

Of course I think about it...even though it has been 20 years. But I have no regrets whatsoever, I cared for her the way she wanted to be taken care of and she knew that we loved her. I look forward to being with her again someday. She is one of the most special people in my life.

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Hi Erica

I think we all go through this grieving process in our own unique way. It was exactly 5 months yesterday since my partner James was killed, and I still cry whilst driving to and from work and some days are just a blur.I am always thinking about him day and night. People say it will get "easier" with time but at this stage I sometimes wonder if that will ever be the case.

I went back to work straight after James' funeral and some days were impossible to go through.

I sometimes wondered how I got myself to and from work.Like KayC I stay at work long just to avoid coming home and not seeing James. Just take everyday as it comes and sometimes you may only need to cope with hour by hour. Be kind to yourself.

Jessica

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  • 2 weeks later...

I too start the waterworks within minutes of getting in my car to drive home from work. That was always the time of day I could start to relax till the next day after work. Once I got home, Steve would already have the coffee going and we would sit together in the kitchen with our coffee and go through the mail and talk about our day and discuss what we were doing for dinner etc. It was "our time" to unwind from our busy day and it was the best time of the day. Now when I sit in the kitchen I look over at his empty chair and even though it has only been six months it seems like years since I saw him sitting there. What was once my best time of the day is now my worst time of the day.

Wendy

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Wendy,

I think that's true, that the special times wwe shared have now become hollow moments of emptiness and let down. I always looked forward to the weekends but when George died, the weekends became the hardest.

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