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Mom's Birthday Is Tomorrow


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August 25th. My mom's birthday. How odd. God I miss her. I miss her laughter. I miss her talks. I miss her opinions, her stories, her wisdom. Well, Happy Birthday mom... Can I say that? How weird all this is, how terrible to be facing her birthday without her. @##$%. I feel insecure; physically and emotionally. Everytime something makes me laugh I almost cry. I remember how hard it was for my mom to be without my Grandmother. She was utterly lost. When I was breaking down my mom's apartment I found a card she had written to my Grandmother from this past Valentine's Day. My Grandmother has been gone since the summer of '05. I thought it was so creepy. Now I know just what it's like to want to write her a note. What a bizzare turn of events in my life. I'm just not ready for her to be gone, there's so much I want to do with her. She never even got to be a grandparent! Today I was thinking about her and I just couldn't get passed her being gone. What?? Huh?? She should be turning 57 tomorrow, and I should be feeling guilty because I didn't send her birthday present out in time. I told my boyfriend the other night that I was all done. I was ready to have her back. It's almost as if I wanted to believe that I've just been away at camp for the past few months, but no. I know. Well, I think I'll have a quiet night at home, and we'll have a toast to her. What a world, what a world. I love you ma. I love you so much.

Thanks for bearing with me folks, I know this is a bit scattered but I had to get it out on paper.

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My mom is gone 13 mos and i still some days don't believe it. the other day i was thinking about it and i had to say mom you dead b/c part of me somethimes tries to foul myself. i think if i don't say it then just maybe she will really still be here just in the hospital. it is the worst feeling.

for mothers day this yr ( it was the first without her) i found a card i had given her , i read it to her and then put it on top of her urn. it gave me some comfort and made me feel good that she had kept it.

i have learned that i do what ever i need to , to cope with this. somedays i say if i die when my mom did then it will be 40 yrs since i have seen her. crazy but that is the way i look at it.

take one moment at a time and be gentle with yourself. God Bless Lori

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My mom's birthday was in July and she had been gone almost a year. The way I got through the day was doing something to celebrate who she was. My girls and I made cards for her then attached them to balloons and let them go. It was like we were sending them to heaven to be with her.

Libby

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Hi Chuckles,

My mother died with out knowing she was going to be a greatgrandmother. But you what? Her and I went quilt shopping one day and we picked out fabric for her first great grandkid, in her own way she knew she wouldn't be there. That was a close day for my mother and me, no words were spoke but we were both thinking the same thing. We picked out fabric for all four of her grandkids too, now it's just a point of getting them back from her stupid husband.

I do feel for you, I don't know what I"m going to do when my moms bday comes, when turkey day comes, when next weekend comes ( was going to go to moms for the holiday ) xmas, every day I guess, every day is hard but the special ones are even harder. I would write her a note,, I write to my mom almost every day, in a journal, I start it out every time with "hi mom

Just remember you're not alone in your feelings.

Keep your chin up

Dawn

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