Just Need To Vent

[bmsbabygirl]

i have noticed i havent cried over my dad in a while. its almost like he never existed, and the memories are starting to fade already, then i look at the pics of him and it feels like its still isnt real. im feeling so angry right now, i feel its to soon to already have the memories of him fading away. it will be a month on tuesday. maybes its just my minds way of trying to make me stay strong, idk. i just know when i look at those pics i wnat my daddy back. im just so upset right now, first time i cried over him in a while.

[DawnG]

That's how grief is, it sneaks up on ya, there are so many different emotions in grief, you just never know which one is going to hit you. I know how you feel, I miss my mother so much. Whatever and however you are grieving is your own way to grieve, don't beat yourself up over not crying, it will come and go. The memories won't fade, they may seem like it, cuz my memories do too, but I've been told that it takes time, so I'm going to trust in that.

Dawn

[shell]

Dawn is right. It may seem like memories are fading, but they aren't. And not crying is sometimes just that you've cried so much, it's almost like you're "empty" for awhile, if that makes any sense. And you're right, it's your minds way of dealing too. Just go with the flow and try not to worry so much about what everything you do or don't do "means". Grief is a roller coaster ride. Hang in there, bmsbabygirl.

Hugs,

Shell

[bmsbabygirl]

thank u 2 so much. i had a hard time today. i went to my grandmas b/c my family got together for dinner and i sat down next to my aunt and then i realized i sat where i always sat and where my aunt was sitting was where my dad would always sit when he would be over there watching his mom and they all would eat dinner together, i would go over there and eat with them if i was there around dinner time. my mom cant even stand to go over there anymore. her and my dad always went there and watched after my grandma, but its to hard on my mom to even step foot in taht house now.

[shell]

bmsbabygirl,

Nice picture!Thanks for sharing it with us. You look beautiful and your dad looks like such a loving, kind person. It is so hard to deal with those changes, like the table situation. I still want to make food for four and then remember there's only two (my brother and I). We had some friends over and my mom just was crazy about them (they're two college aged very nice brothers) and it was so awkward that she wasn't sitting there with us. We all felt it, but tried to make the best of the evening. And there are a few places I just couldn't go to, so I know how your mom feels. Maybe someday she'll be ready, I hope.

Hugs,

Shell