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This was sent to me by the grief support group my son and I go to and thought it might help someone here.

Understanding the Concept of "Reconciliation"

Sometimes you will hear about mourners "recovering" from grief. This term is damaging because it implies that grief is an illness that must be cured. It also connotes a return to the way things were before the death. Mourners don't recover from grief. We become "reconciled" to it. In other words, we learn to live with it, and are forever changed by it. This does not mean a life of misery, however. We often not only heal but grow through grief. Our lives con potentially be deeper and more meaningful after the death of someone loved. Reconciliation takes time. You may not become truly reconciled to your loss for several years and even then will have "griefbursts" forever. Mourning never really completely ends, only as time goes on and I do my mourning work, it erupts less frequently.

I hope this may help someone understand what they are going through. There is so much talk from people who haven't lost someone about "we should be through this by now" and so on. I think this said it all, it is a continuing process that will always be with us. We have been and forever will be changed by our loved ones death.

Love always


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