What Is Going On?

[Jennie Harrison]

I am so confused, one week ago it was 1 year since my lovley father died... and I have never felt worse!!! Been crying for 5 hours now... I think it's so unfear that I am 22 years old and I don't have my father. I have friends that are around 40 and hate their fathers. Life is so unfear!!! I need him.... and I am totally freaking out now..... since I been away from my home country for a few years, it's hard to understand that he is gone... and the hardest question WHERE is he??? I love him... whish I could just have one last moment with the best dad in the world... when does the pain go away? Can't he just come back and say it was a big joke?

[shell]

Jennie,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. The one year mark is a hard one. It can really hit you very hard, but it's normal. So your crying and freaking out is normal...don't worry, just get your feelings out and things will "settle down" again. We always say that grief is a roller coaster ride and it truly is. You can go for long stretches where you think you're doing pretty good and then, wham, something happens (like the first year anniversary of their passing) and you're back to square one. But the good news is that it will get a little easier to deal with as time passes.

It would be wonderful to be able to have the whole thing a terrible dream and wake up and evrything back to normal, huh? I think it takes a very long time to really believe it. It's been two and a half years since my dad died and I still can't quite believe it! Hang in there.

A big hug to you,

Shell

[Only Child]

I just lost my Mom last week. I'm freaking out also - crying not because she's dead. It was expected. I miss her MUCH but based on my religious convictions, I'm not confident if I helped her prepare for death in the religious sense prior to her death. I go out of my mind in tears asking God where she is, to please show me a sign that she is safe and on her way to Heaven.

Losing it,

Only Child

[shell]

Only Child,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm not sure what you mean by preparing her, but I'm sure you did your best. I keep asking all the people I've lost for some kind of sign that there is a Heaven too and haven't received any sign. Then I had the thought that maybe they aren't "allowed" to send signs of that sort...like "Heaven Rules" or something! I don't mean to make light of it, it can drive you crazy wondering, I know. Just try to believe that they are better off wherever they are. that they aren't sick or suffering or scared anymore. That's what I do and it's the only advice I can give. Maybe someone else on the board will have better advice. Hang in there, I know how painful it is right now.

Hugs to you,

Shell