Lyn1 Posted September 3, 2007 Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 Hi,this is my first try at expressing what I am feeling after the death of my wife of 20 years just two weeks ago, after a two and one half year battle with NHL. Millie was my life, we had a very special love for each other, and I miss her much more than I can ever express. I am 70 years old, she was 62, but anyone who did not know our age mistook us for 50 something. I know now that it was Millie that kept me feeling and acting so young, I feel today that I have aged 20 years. It has only been two weeks, but, so far, every day is a little worse, and those two weeks seem like years, time goes so slow. I wait for the day to be over, only to find I cannot sleep and lie awake, waiting for the night to be over. Will it ever get better?? I am writing this partly because reading other posts about the experience of others, has been one of the greatest helps for me. Maybe it is knowing that I am not the only one going through this.We knew several weeks before Millie's death that the outcome of the last chemo was probably not going to be good, and even had some time to prepare as we watched the cancer develop and make her sicker and sicker. Everything happened much faster than predicted by the medical community. What was suppose to take months, took only weeks, and what was predicted to take weeks, took only days. Millie was enrolled in the Hospice program for only one day, the Hospice nurse made her initial vist on Friday, August 17, and Millie died at 4:00 pm on Saturday, August 18. She had wanted to die at home with family and friends around her, and she did.I miss her so very much, but am torn between wanting the hurting to stop, and not wanting to forget her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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