Conversations With Dead Husband

[Anita Rita]

Hello everyone,

My husband died 08/28/07 from a long battle with cancer. We have been together almost 30 years. I say that I was blessed to plan for his death and to know of his wishes. He had time to tell me what a good woman I was and I deserve a good man after he passes. He was at a nursing home at the time of his death scheduled for hospice the day after he died. I am a nurse and when I visited him the day before there were no signs of death near, although he was decling. They called me at work to get their ASAP that he had died. I walked into his room and was relieved 3 family members were by his side. They said he was alert, hungry. My aunt was feeding him, he took the food, than looked up at the ceiling food came back out and he died just in a split second.

I have been grieving for all the while he was ill, but nothing what I'm experiencing now. I don't preticulalry believe in ghosts or spirits but the last few days too many strange events.

The day of his memorial my computer got a virus or worm, becoming annoyed I did a recovory on it to bring it back to the original factory "new." This takes a few hours so I let it do it's thing and left. When I arrived home rather than seeing the standar Windows screen like is always there, there was a hooded man sitting on a horse, on a draw bridge, very medevil(the grim reeper). Not only that, I have halloween sounds coming out of the speakers, cats, doors opening, bats flying. Also some of my icons are skulls, spiders and bats.

The next day I spent crying, depressed, grieving when I heard him say, "Its such a beautiful day, you need to sit outside and enjoy the weather." I went out the same time of day we normally go out, 4pm. I sat in the same chair I always sat in. I got up to get the dogs water and saw a hummingbird for the first time this year. I stood and watched it and wanted to wait until it left, than from nowhere another large hummingbird appeared. I thought it was going to land on my head. Mind you, there were no flowers where I was standing. This humming bird was an arms length away, so close I heard its wings moving. This bird flew in place for almost 30 seconds staring at me with its black eyes, eye to eye contact. This was his way of telling me he is with me. He made sure I was out there at that time.

The day after he spoke with me again."take a ride in the country, your too sad sitting in the house." As i drove I felt his presence in the corn, the wheat the trees,the sky, the clouds. This what they mean he is always with you, he's everywhere.

Than again last night he spoke with me."Don't go back in the house, it's such a beautiful evening. I feel close to you when you look in the sky, by the stars, I'm way up here."He said "take your time,I'll be here when you come. It's not so bad here."

I know he hates to see me suffer like this. Just when you think you can control your saddness it becomes overwhelming. I've been crying today more than any day. I feel his presence. People say it's comforting but I find it uncomfortable, not able to let go.

Has anyone experience anything similar?

Day 10 of grieving,

Anita Rita

[karenb]

I am sorry about your husband. I lost mine 2 years ago and I know what you're going through and, believe me, it's a long process of getting used to being without them. You relate well of how he comes to you and I know that he does because love goes on through eternity. I hear my Jack telling me things. When I'm working too long in the yard he tells me, "Dear, pace yourself." When I'm fishing in our little boat he reminds me how to bring a fish in. When I'm sitting on our deck with our Sadie Mae black lab, we talk about what to do in the yard. All these are the thoughts he's putting in my head and done in just the way he's always done.

We love them so much it just brings that forever lump in our throats and tears to our eyes. My biggest experience was several months after he passed and I was in bed, thinking about going to sleep. I looked up and there was this cloud-like (I don't want to call it an apparation) but "something" starting far away and coming closer towards me. As it was coming I felt this tremendous feeling of such love as I've never known. It enveloped me completely and I knew it was Jack letting me know he was fine and will always love me.

We will always love them, just get used to being where we are and always know that they're with us, helping us, protecting us and loving us.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Let us know how you're faring.

Your friend....Karen

[lorikelly]

Anita Rita

I believe our love ones can come to us with signs. maybe i am crazy. My mom believed in it also. i heard my mom call me after she passed i was sleeping and she yelled my name, i heard loud and clear. then my husband heard it one morning also, i think she was trying to tell me she is still hear with me. I want more, I wish i could have more signs. i would not be afraid, but i think she does not want me to hold on to her so much, she wants me to let go and live. i do have a appt with a psychic, she is used by the state police in NJ and Delaware. i go to see her on 12/01/07 what a Christmas gift that would be to hear my mom. i will let you know. Lori

[Guest moparlicious]

Hi,My name is Kim and I am 40 years old with 3 teen children.My husband has been dead for 18 days and I feel alot of things you are going through. I was married to my husband for 20 years and together for 24 years.Everywhere I turn, everything I do, I see him, smell him, hear him. All I feel lately is pain. I really don't want to do this anymore(meaning I do not want to be here anymore)My life has no purpose no meaning no nothing. I don't feel you are going crazy, just trying to make it through another day without your loved one is a journey. I sympathize with you and you are in my thoughts and prayers. Kim

[kayc]

moparlicious,

Please let me express my profound sorrow at your huge loss. We welcome you to this site and hope it brings you much comfort and understanding and encouragement, as it has to us. We relate to your feelings. 18 days is very very fresh, I can only say that little by little you will begin to adjust, but I won't kid you, it's not easy. We will be here for you.

[Guest moparlicious]

Thank you for all your support!!!!!! Hospice and grieving families stick together, for we found this out the last 3 months my husband was with Hospice.Thank you for helping me get through another hour of life.God bless you. I started my own post also. Kim

[Loren]

Anita... first let me offer my condolences. I lost my husband on August 13th in a truck accident, so it's fresh for me, as well.

I only wanted to say that I, too, have a hummingbird story. I hadn't met anyone before you that had a similar experience, so it prompted me to respond to your post. About five or six days after my husband's death, I was sitting on the porch, talking on the phone to my mother. My head was bowed and I was just feeling overwhelmed. When I lifted my head there was, just out of hands' reach, a hummingbird. Bear in mind that there are no hummingbirds in my neighborhood that anyone's seen, and no feeders or anything up. In the 4 years that my neighbors have lived here, they've never seen a hummingbird, and neither have I in the year we've lived here. It just hovered there in front of me, facing me, watching me, for probably 10 seconds or more. I could just hear my husband's name in my head, softly... and then I felt peace. As soon as the peace washed over me and my tears dried up, the bird cocked his head at me for a second and flew away.

I've seen him twice more... once that same day, perched on my windchimes, just watching me, and once about a week later, hovering in front of me again (that time a friend happened to be with me, so she got to see him, too). It was a very special moment. So, you're not alone. I feel very touched to have had the hummingbird visit me, and firmly believe that it had meaning (no matter what some skeptics I've met may say).

My thoughts are with you during this terrible time in your life. I'm still struggling every day, so I can't tell say that I know how or when it gets easier, but I have to hope that it does.

Take care and be well,

Loren

[WendyJ]

I am so jealous that I have not had any simular experience of a visitation from my husband after being together for 34 years. All I keep saying to him is "Please just let me know you are okay and finally free of pain and it will help me to go on" and nothing. At times I get so frustrated that he has not contacted me in any way, do you believe that some people are receptive to it and some aren't or do you think maybe I am trying too hard?

Wendy

[karenb]

Your words are wonderful. I'm so glad you're sharing your experiences with us. My husband's been gone now for two years. I have great and happy, happy memories. I know he's with me just as you know your husband is there, too. I feel his wonderful spirit and his love and will never forget our time together. You sound like a such a good person and I hope things go well for you. You know how to to take care of yourself. So many people don't. Come back and let us know how you're getting along. Take care.

Your friend....Karen

[vddawk]

I am so sorry for your loss. My husband of 30 years dies on June 19th from pancreatic cancer. He was a picture of health, a kickboxer who wroked out everyday until April of this year. He started having stomach pain and they took out his gallbladder, which was not the problem. We went through various test and found out he had pancreatic cancer that had spread to his liver. On Monday, of that week the dr. told us he had maybe 3 months to live, so we though we had time to do our special talk, but by Tues. at 2 pm he was gone. I went down stairs for 15 min. and when I returned he was gone. I didn't need to say I love you, because we were that close, we both knew how we felt about each other. He was only 47 years old but we had our kids at a early age so we were beginning to enjoy our time together alot. We had bought a boat and spent alot of our time on the lake alone. My life has been turned upside down so bad that I don't know how to live anymore. He never had the chance to tell me how I was suppose to live my life without him. Our kids are grown and we had just had our first grandchild. Around my house things seem to disappear. Radio comes on at the same time every afternoon and plays for an hour and then goes off. I know somehow he is still here with me in this house. Bedtime seems to be the worse for me. Most night, when I can sleep, I cry myself to sleep. Since he dies I've lost about 30 lbs. When I try to eat, I seem to gag on everything. Just nee to know I'm mourning the right way.

[LarrysGirl]

I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your husband. My Larry died of liver cancer at the young age of 49, the day before his birthday. Even though we knew he was ill, we didn't expect his death, within days of his diagnosis. I know he is with me, I feel him and different things around me have given me distinct messages that he is near. I think our eating habits, sleeping and so on get so turned upside down losing someone we love. Its hard to make sense of anything. Try to take it slow. Know what you are feeling is perfectly normal and typical of others who are grieving. It does change but it always hurts. Deborah

[kayc]

vddawk,

I'm sorry that you, too, had to lose your husband and for all you are going through. I don't think there is a right or wrong way to mourn, only our own way. Do whatever uplifts you in even the slightest way, maybe a walk every day, meet with a friend, and if you don't feel like eating, try to eat something high calorie with nutrition so you don't lose so much weight, like peanut butter or nuts. It should get a little better with time,

[walter/Erica]

Hello all

I have not had any of these experiences you speak of... I have heard someone say that the Bible prohibits any contact with the dead. Be very interested to hear from Kayc and Derek your thoughts on this. I do however wish that i could have contact with Walter, even if its indirect like feeling him around.. You all describe such beautiful stories

Take care. My prayers are with each one of you .....

[WendyJ]

Okay now I am so confused, if they are shielded from the bad then why do we bother to speak to them as they are not hearing us. Like if I was upset about not knowing how to fix something or having a rough time and needed Steve to guide me or just talking to him while I am crying does that mean he doesn't hear me? If he only sees me when I am happy then he may think I am not even bothered by loosing him. If they can be around us and we can sense them then what are they seeing if they are not seeing us sitting there crying etc. Am I making any sense as I am having a hard time exlaining what I mean.

Wendy

[kayc]

I didn't say they don't hear us or care but just perhaps they can handle it easier than they would have been able to here. I don't worry myself with details I don't fully comprehend but rather I trust God to know what He's doing with them and with us and that He has it all worked out. There is so much I do not know or understand, but trust Him for.

Also, I have also read in the Bible where such supernatural contact is prohibited...but could it be because of imposters and God is trying to protect us from being deceived? Again, I don't worry about what I don't understand so much, but I know and feel George is with me in a different way than he was here on earth. There is so much that we do not know or understand about spiritual realms but we do know that their spirit continues on when their physical body is laid to rest.

Edited September 10, 2007 by kayc