Corinne Posted September 11, 2007 Report Share Posted September 11, 2007 Hi! I just found this website. My story is long but I will condense it. In 1996 I lost my beloved Jimmy he was my husband and soulmate. He had cancer and in this his last days he commited suicide on Christmas morning. I could not deal with the loss and pain (I was 34 at the time), so I chose alcohol to cover it (bad choice). Two years later I met John while drinking. We fell in love but John had a lot of issues. He grew up in a very disfunctional family. We have two beautiful daughters together. After I had our first daughter I cut back on my drinking and after the second I quit. John however continued and in February he went to a pool tournament and drank too much and decided to walk home through the woods (which he had done before)in 17 degree temperatures without a jacket, needless to say he did not make it. They found him in April. My problem is now that I have lost John and I covered my loss of Jimmy with alcohol I never really finished grieving for him so I am now grieving for both. I am also like some of you finding my patience with my girls very short. People tell me I am doing great with what I have been through but they do not realize that I am keeping a lot of it inside because I am a very private person. I know that I need to let it out and would love to go to a support group but with my two daughters it is hard. I had to leave my home and move because John's family needed someone to blame and they chose me. I know it was not my fault and some people need to blame someone for a loss, but it was too painful with everything else I was going through. I had been thinking of moving out of the area before John had died to give my daughters more opportunities, so I do not feel like it was a bad choice. Thanks for letting me vent to others who are going through what I am!Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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