Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Mom/dog/now Dad


Recommended Posts

Hi, I am new to this site, however I wish I had searched for it before now. I have sit and read multiple posts and I realize that there are others like me. I lost my mother 11/04 to undiagnosed lung cancer after two weeks in ICU with her family grasping at the hope of her getting better. She was only 65. My siblings have all taken their turns at blaming me for "not helping her", some of which are still not talking to me. Six months later I lost my 11 year old Boxer Max to a sudden stroke and had to make the heartwrenching decision to put him down. He was my best friend. Now my father passed away Sunday, his job found him Monday, but it was too late. My parents were divorced and he lived 1200 miles away, but we stayed in good contact and he even flew for the first time ever last summer just to come see us. He was 67. I tend to keep myself busy to derail the grief, then it came bashing down and I suffered a mini breakdown November last year, needing a psychiatrist and meds. If nothing at all, it gave me the time off work, 5 months, to get my thoughts in order. However, I am still having "bad" days where I do nothing but cry. Now this. I feel suffocated and numb. I feel like nobody understands. I feel like nobody cares. I feel like nothing is real and nothing will ever be the same. I am angry, sad, sorry, confused, sick, tired, worried and scared all at the same time and it is very time and energy consuming. I have totally lost my faith and strength. I just need someone to talk to who's "been there".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Elizabeth,

I'm glad you found this site and I'm so sorry for your losses. I went through a similar situation, losing my dad in '05, one of my cats two weekends later and now my mom in June. I also had to have another of my babies put to sleep two months before my mom passed away. In between all those were other deaths (uncle, friend, etc.) It can be so overwhelming that you just lose it. I think we have all had "breakdowns" to some degree, so there is no shame in that. I am on antidepressants and many others on the board are too. So you have found the right place for people who understand what you are going through.

Grief brings out every emotion you can imagine, I think. That's a lot to deal with and try to keep your balance! I still have really bad periods too, where I feel like all I want to do is cry and be alone and nothing makes sense. We often refer to the "rollercoaster ride" that grief is. The only postitive is that you go down, but eventually you will go up again, so hang on tight and just ride it out. I hope you post often, it really helps to talk to others in the same place as you are. Welcome to the board.

Hugs,

Shell

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Elizabeth,

I am sorry for your losses, I lost my mom in April of 2005 to a diabetic coma, I lost my dad to complications from his cancer treatment... I had to give up my best friend Chelsea my yellow lab because where I am living now I could not have her... I left my childhood home where I lived with my parents for twenty six years and I had to quit my job because of relocating as well as saying good bye to some wonderful neighbors but after all that I have one good thing to say.... The good thing is that I found this website family and the people here really care and understand.... I hope you will continue to come and post and or just read other posts... Take care and God Bless Shelley

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I Elizabeth, I in a way know what you're going through, I lost my cat june 7 mom june 18 and stepmom july 17. I know it's hard, just remember you're not a lone and it's okay to grieve in your own way. We are all here for each other. Post as much as you need to.

Lots of hugs

Dawn

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Elizabeth,

I am so sorry for all of your losses. I know too well, it's too much to handle. I lost my mom this past Dec. On that same day I had to put my dog to sleep, we didn't even know he was sick until that same day. Now, 2 weeks ago we brought in hospice for my dad. So when I saw your post topic. Mom, dog and now Dad. It was one that I totally understand. I am glad you found this site. It's helped me so much. There are so many wonderful people here. Keep posting.

Take care of yourself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you, Everybody. I just could not sleep tonight and came to my computer to this site for comfort, and boy was it nice to see your responses and hear your kind words. Thanks again and goodnight. Elizabeth

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Elizabeth, I wish I could offer some words of help or comfort, but all I can say is I know how you feel. I lost my mom and my 3 dogs in the same incident, about 4 months ago. I've never met my father so at least I don't have to suffer through this again, but I just want to say I completely understand your feelings of loneliness and disconnect. I'm pretty much in the same boat you are, feeling many of the same feelings. I can't talk to anyone about it. The only person I can talk to is my Grandma, but I don't want to make her sad so I don't bring it up. I feel worse all the time, its like I'm starting to fall apart a little bit at a time. Sorry if my words lack the encouragement you were looking for, but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone in this strange place of grief.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...