northern duke Posted September 14, 2007 Report Share Posted September 14, 2007 Hi, I’m new here so if I've done something wrong please tell me. I would very much appreciate that. About a month ago my mother died and my life has seemed to take a completely unexpected and drastic turn for the worst. For starters: my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in October of last year and was immediately treated and eventually "cured" about a few months after. However, we were told that to be completely sure of the eradication of the cancer, Chemo would be a wise and solid decision. This is where the trouble started. Taking the regulated medication in concurrence with her chemotherapy, ma started to become extremely inebriated and as a result, had to miss a lot of work. My sister and I had to miss a lot of school to stay home and take care of her, making sure that she didn’t hurt herself. One day, after not eating anything for a long time, she finally asked for some milkshakes. My sister and I made her about three or four and she seemed to take to them quite well. She lay down and went to sleep. Over the next few hours we would check up on her and she would only respond with a low moan of "OK". But when we went in to check on her for the fourth time she wouldn’t answer and could only moan. Immediately I called my grandfather asking him to come over to help thinking she had overdosed on her medication. After a few more vain attempts of waking her we called an ambulance and took her to the hospital where we were told she was in a diabetic coma.I didn’t (and still don’t) know how to receive his information. I put my own mother into a diabetic coma with all of those milkshakes that she drank. We later learned that she had (as a result of the intoxicating meds) stopped taking her insulin on a regular basis. She died the morning after.The hardest thing to live with is the knowledge that I basically killed my own mother. I can’t go to sleep at night without having horrible nightmares of what her face looked like that morning in the hospital.The week after that nightmare in the hospital my sister and I took our senior exit exams in high school and graduated. It was hard not having her there.Right after that our grandfather thought it best to move out of the house. I personally had no problem with this as I didn’t want to be near those memories anymore. We moved to an apartment complex about twenty minutes away from our home and have been here ever since. It was also the idea of our grandfather that we start college right away. This I and my sister were extremely opposed to. We feel trapped and overburdened, and everyone I tell that to has said the same thing; “suck it up.” I know I’m supposed to be strong but I can’t help feeling tired and lonely. I’m thinking about dropping out for the semester and going sometime after Christmas, getting a job in the meantime. I need your help because I’m lost. My only friend and only mother has died and I have to live with the fact that it is my fault. I’m in a really shity apartment with my sister starting college nearby which I’m not yet ready for and I’m getting nowhere.Please help someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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