walter/Erica Posted September 22, 2007 Report Share Posted September 22, 2007 Hello dear friends. was feeling better than I ever felt in thelast 6 months that I lost my husband , however on friday out of nowhere, I just started to feel really sad and depressed. I couldnt find any reason or trigger. Feeling a bit better today, and really trusting God to help me. However, what I really want to say is that my energy and concentration at work is really bad. i cannot get into work. I stare into space, and just battle to start a task, let alone complete a task. I seem to lack motivation and a sense of urgency. I procrastinate and am really feeling unproductive at work and feeling quite guilty about not performing as I should, when will this end? I need to get really stuck into work. Any suggestions? What can I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted September 22, 2007 Report Share Posted September 22, 2007 Erica,I had the same problem as you have just described. The feeling good and then out of nowhere feeling depressed is very normal. This will happen for quite some time. If you look back over these last 6 months I think you will realize that the times you feel depressed have become shorter and the happy times are longer. It does get better as time progresses.As far as work, I also found it hard to concentrate. For the first 4 months I rarely made it to work on time. I am supposed to be at work by 7:30 but I really am not concidered late until after 8:00. Most days it would be 8:10 or 8:20 before I arrived. While at work I was unable to concentrate and I took a lot of naps under my desk. I am lucky, I have an office where I could turn out the light and close the door. This year I have had to access some of the projects that I completed last year and found a ton of mistakes. I have had to take the time and go through and correct them. For me, I started coming back into reality around 9 or 10 months. It was around the holiday season, so that was difficult but everything just really started coming together. Just give yourself time, I hope your employer is as understanding as mine was.Love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted September 22, 2007 Report Share Posted September 22, 2007 With the loss of Jack I was not working (retired early) so I didn't have that problem, but I made myself complete pages of all my paperwork only at my own pace. Before Jack, though, there was someone I was close to who died from a truck accident - that, also, was a complete and sudden shock. I was working then and had to go back after about 2 weeks at home. I would just space out and go to my car and cry. This just continued on but everyone was very understanding. It's just something your poor shocked body has to go through. It will end. I guess the only thing you can do is just force yourself to concentrate as much as you can, when you can, how you can!!! Just do your best, that's all you can do. Hang in there. It'll get better.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 Erica,it happened alot to me also the last months, and I'd see a picture or a scent and take 20 steps backward, however I personally noticed the good days have been more frequent but I have some bad days, but the treatment for depression helps many people, and its ok to go to the doctor and tell him whats happening, sometimes we need a boost to help us along, I hope this isn't taken the wrong way, but be good to yourself and plan something you enjoy, the littlest things we do work wonders.Truly,William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 William....I hope you're doing everything to keep yourself where you want to be. My son, who has some mental health issues, is doing so great on the meds he has now. He offers conversation instead of just answering, has a job promotion, keeping his apartment somewhat clean, could use a haircut (but that's me talking) and doing very well. It sure makes a difference if his meds are taken religiously. You are a special person, William, and I just wanted to check up on you.Your frield....Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 Karen,Thank you for your love and support, The meds, I missed a few times this week and its been a yo-yo. I need a haircut too LOL, thank you for your friendship. Friend always,William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 Sounds like I'm a mother but get a trim and get one of those day by day pill things. Love you.....Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 My Dear Karen, I need a mother to straighten me out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 I think we all do, my hair is longer than it has ever been. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 It keep us warm in the winter, I thought of cutting it all off, but my wife always knew me with long hair, its like if i do something to myself she probably won't recognize me, crazy huh?William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 I was just teasing about the trim, of course, you do whatever you want....you've earned that right. Have a peaceful Sunday.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 Oh Karen, I know you were but its still nice to hear it, I haven't spoke to my mother in years, last time she talked to me when my wife died, wasn't really a level headed woman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 It's very difficult for me to understand when parents and their children aren't in tune with each other. My love for my children (3 of them) has gotten me through many bad times in my life and I would be lost without them. I have my son in Bellingham, Washington, my other son in Kauai, Hawaii, and my daughter who lives a couple miles away. A few months after Jack died my Kauai son sent his wife here to fetch me to Kauai and got me a condo, a car, bought meals and just tried to show me how sorry he was about Jack. My daughter and I spend a lot of time together and, of course, I would do anything for my osn in Bellingham. Like I said, I just don't understand some parents. I guess I just spouted off here. I hope that's okay.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 Karen,Its ok, I hear alot from everyone I know and it is true, I came from a dysfunctional family and we were never close, I was the outcast, and lived a dramatically different life from them, since I became ill it made things worse for them but I had to learn to accept it, my mother was a negative influence on me, my father, well, we talk alot, he was supportive in his own harsh way though it made me a better person, I still need a mother type to lean on sometimes, but it seems I did ok over the last 20 years on my own, I know what not to do in a relationship due to it all and had a wonderful marriage because of it. I always value your input and friendship, you are a good mother and thats a wonderful trait, you been so blessed and you blessed me too Your friend always,William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 Well, in spite of it all you had a wonderful marriage and truly loved your lady.....that's what is important. Believe me, my first marriage was very dysfunctional but my children and I came through it. If you're lucky, when you live a life of hard knocks it makes you a more understanding and compassionate person. You do sound very compassionate and it seems as though you're trying very hard to live your life with a kind and caring attitude. Here's pats on the back, my friend. Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted September 24, 2007 Report Share Posted September 24, 2007 Karen,It took alot on part to change and I was blessed, I hate that word "was" she was so much a part of everything I was. I been through too much and not try to be bitter, I heard that my sister told my mother in law that I blame everyone for my dilemma, funny since we haven't really spoke in 20 years, what does she know, it makes me very upset to spread lies. Guess it doesn't matter, not really a important person in my life anyways. Thanks for the pat, Hugs,William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted September 24, 2007 Report Share Posted September 24, 2007 William,Despite everything you have been through, you have a good ttitude towards life. For you to not take offense at what your sister said is admirable. There are not many out there like you. Keep up the good work.Love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted September 24, 2007 Report Share Posted September 24, 2007 Derek, I admit if I see her I would like to tell her how I feel but that would give her too much empowerment, thank you Derek you a great guy!William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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