Can't Sleep

[DawnG]

I can't sleep, I know it's not that late but it's late for me, I'm usually in bed before 10, last night I didn't get to sleep til 3 and got up at 6. It's been 3 months, will be 13 weeks tomorrow since my mom died and I still can't believe that I am typing she has died. It doesn't seem real, every thing seems like it's going in slow motion, like she's just on a break or something. I called a friend today to ask to come over because I was having a bad day, she was too busy. All my friends have left me, how could they leave during this time of my life? How selfish can they be? I would never desert any one during a time like this.

I was in the hospital last weekend with heart problems, too much stress. I tota'ld my vehicle 2 weeks ago while I was moving, it just seems to keep on getting worse, I can't even see any lite at the end of the tunnel. Not sure if I can take another thing going wrong.

[shell]

Dawn,

It's been just about the same length of time since my mom died and I know how you feel. I don't belive it. I know it's happened, but there's a part of me that feels like I'm in a bad dream. I think we are still in the shock stage which is now slowly wearing off. The only reason I sleep ok is because I take meds for it, otherwise I wouldn't sleep well either. I'm so sorry to hear about your heart problems. Stress can cause havoc! I hope your doctor gave you something to help with that. Sorry too about your car, but glad you weren't injured. It does seem like when we're grieving other bad things keep happening and it just piles up! I've had that same feeling that if one more bad thing happened I'd just crumble! Just hang in there as best as you can. I think these things wouldn't bother us quite as much if we weren't grieving, ya know.

As far as friends, well, join the club! I have lost so many friends who weren't there for me either. It makes me sad, but on the other hand, I am kind of glad that they showed their true colors. I can't understand how people can be so selfish and unkind either. I have always been there for my friends, many of the same ones who weren't there for me! But if they are that way, I'm glad to know it and cross them off my list.

Hope things start looking up for you...they will, just ride it out.

A big hug,

Shell

[rosanne]

In the same situation, as the two of you... 3 months ago my whole life changed when I lost my mom....

Dawn, Shell is right, stress can cause so many problems, I still don't know how to let mine go. You feel sad and lost all of the time and still have to deal with day to day problems, and try to work- it is so hard. I think of you two so often even on the week-ends, wondering how you all are doing.

I do sleep, but I am also on meds. and I will tell you one thing, my family does not like that I am on them, I did not take them for a week and they were giving them to me, I do not think I could function without them.

The holidays ahead, I can't even think about them........ I want to go into isolation! I have also lost friends through this, I do not understand their actions? WE are here for each other.

I am sorry about your car, but so thankful you were not injured!

We all have a heavy burden to carry, maybe it won't be quite so heavy with support from each other!

Thank You, for your support

[northern duke]

DawnG,

I know exactly how you feel. Sleeping has been a very big problem for me since my mother died as well, and I certainly know that the added stress of unneeded crap like an accident and health issues is always unbelievably frustrating and obviously no help at all. I myself haven’t slept more than three hours in about three weeks now.

I'm afraid that I don’t have a remedy for you as I just haven’t found anything that works for me yet, but I did want you to know that you're not alone.

I'm sorry, good luck.

Christian.

[Only Child]

Dear Dawn -

I really feel for you. It's only been two weeks since I buried my Mom, and already I've been told that I'm "draining" the people around me. Well, tough! I'm in mourning, just like you, and it's raw. And I've been a caregiver for five years, with Mom in hospital bed for the past year and a half - and some of my family told me I couldn't handle this...Well, I did, even as I watched my Mom bleed out this summer. Nobody knows what I've seen unless they were here...Few were.

Dawn, there apparently will come a time when, if we don't "move on", as they say, our best supporters will move on without us. And the bad luck - either resulting from stress or too many things hitting at once - will seem even worse because it seems to have started when we lost our loved one. Some people manage their emotions quietly, unseen - or have none.

But please don't talk about bad luck - You're in a stressfully emotional time of your life. Some things are just a result of the stress. And some things coincidentally have just followed the worst luck you had - losing a loved one. If I were you, I'd continue to reach out - perhaps without tears - to anyone you think will listen. And always here.

Wishing I could say something that would console you-

God Bless You,

Only Child