Gentle, Sad, Fragile And Quiet Feeling

[suzanne]

Karen, Derek and William

Thanks for your replys. I know I may still have a difficult time ahead of me tonight as well as the days ahead but just for the moment I am okay with my memories and I know God will be with me tonight as well as the days to come. Those I will worry about later. One moment at a time.

William

A woman's wrath is a force to not be taken lightly. We see you.

Suzanne

[karenb]

Suzanna....I chuckled reading "we see you." Cute. You must be just a great person.

Your friend, Karen

[Stallyn]

Suzanne,

You are right one day at a time, you know today is the 7th month of Myrna's passing, haven't felt good either all day but you are a ray of sunshine! Have a good nite Ok?

Hugs,

William

[suzanne]

William

What day is Myrna's day? Is your seventh month any better? You have a good night as well my friend.

Suzanne

[Stallyn]

Guys,

A few minutes later I felt like a sinking sensation, I thought to my self "shes gone" as I always do that, The past 6 months I been getting called on the phone and hung up on, I called back and said I needed to find out whats going on, I told them Myrna is passed, and they persistently asked if she has an estate and who is the executor of it, There was none, and she abruptly hung up on me. Maybe I am wishful thinking but where is the compassion? is Myrna just a number to everyone and I get spat on?? It offends me, hurts. This is all new to me and thinking perhaps they get the "hint" to back off

Suzanne, it is today, I woke up feeling horrible but numb, Its somewhat better now the adjustment is easier.

William

[dpodesta]

William

Is it bill collectors that are calling? I had the same problem, however they didn't hang up because they wanted their money. I was in the middle of filing bankrupacy so my lawer told me not to give them much information. They usually wanted to know the same thing, was the a will or estate which for me there was none so there wasn't a whole lot they could do.

Love always

Derek

Hell hath no fury like a women scorned.

[suzanne]

William

Don't you dare sink on me tonight. Wendy will be after both of us if I let let you go down. You will not. This is our night and we will get through it. Those people that call for Will get the most royal cursing they have ever had, and I mean words I have never used to use or they get hung up on. There is no comnpassion with some people, you just bite back. Social security office which I won't even get into. Try to tell me my marriage has ended. That's a conversation that can't even repeat on here.

Suzanne

[Stallyn]

Derek,

Yes it was, don't know it was though, was some collection agency, your lawyer is good, told me the same, I didn't know it caused you to declare insolvent, these people are ruthless, I think the months after alot of them called and I assertively told them there is NOTHING, and they laid off somehow, why did they pursue you? A woman scorned is for me to run for the door, LOL

William

[Stallyn]

Suzanne,

I am trying my best you have the same day also? I can't imagine you saying such things but it works quite well with them morons, I think one time I picked up the phone and yelled "are ya going to say something??" I feel exactly the same sentiment you do, I still think I am married! I told a friend today wishing there was some pill to make it go away.. not going to happen.. Social security, ahh yes I had to wait forever to get the death certificate which set me back $80 just to get them recording her death, last week I think theres closure on it, I am not happy since I am on disability to wait 10 years before I can collect on her behalf at the same time the money is being shipped to iraq to defend people that don't give a care about americans.

hugs,

William

[dpodesta]

William,

Yes, we had too many bills and not enough life insurance so I had to file. I could have paid quie a bit off and had no savings and I would live from check to check hoping that no emergencies came up. I decided I didn't want to live like that, hell we had been living like that for several years. Sometimes it just takes a while for them to learn that there is nothing they can do, they just have to try for a while to see if they can get anywhere. You would be surprised at how many people pay that legally don't have to. I had the hospital in Florida where Karen was taken to keep sending me notifications until just a few months ago, I finally called them and told them that she had died and that I had filed I gave them my lawers name and number and I haven't heard from them since. I still have Best Buy trying to come and pick up a washer and dryer my lawer told me to ignore them unless they come to my door with a warant to pick it up. It was kind of fun for awhile after I filed the paperwork because all I had to do was give them the case number and district and nothing else. Of course they would try to get other information from me and tell me that they needed it in order to help me. I just would tell them I was not required to give them anything else and usually when they would try anything I would just get ugly with them, it was an outlet for my anger at the time. I look back and I feel a little sorry for them because I was very mean. Notice that I said a little, not a whole lot. Is anyone on MSN Messenger? I had to file for Social Security for benifits for Carson but didn't have much trouble with them.

Love always

Derek

[Stallyn]

Derek,

I am so sorry it went down that way, what a way to grieve a loss and tackling finances too, I am suprised how many people think they are obligated to pay, and it sucks they will *try* to squeeze all the sanity out of you and break you down

at such a horrible time in our lives. Helping you, wow thats a first for me, I have a friend in the bussiness years ago telling me the tactics they use to get you to pay. I have to mail alot of letters telling them with the emphasis on the word NOTHING, which she had nothing. The irs still annoys me with their threats of collections and levies but fortunately I sold off all our assets with joint ownership. I don't think Best buy will bother trying, is it even legal to enter your home and take small items like that? I stopped using MS messenger due to the scammers trying to pester me with giving them money for hotels or surgery for their brother and other things I don't remember.

Friend always,

William

[suzanne]

William

They even had the nerve to tell me I had to mail my "proof of relationship" to Birmingham, I called them everything I could think of. If you think I would mail my marriage license to you. Does the fact that my heart has been ripped from me count as proof!!! Well lady don't get upset with me I was told. I went ballistic. Called my local office here and I was able to take it in to make a copy. Anyway, guess another example of a woman's wrath. Don't make us mad.

Suzanne

[Stallyn]

I thought I heard it all, thats outrageous! Good for you to put them in their place, KUDOS to you!!! Trust me I don't like angry women, thats not something easily forgotten, BTW I don't feel sorry for the guy on the other end, he took the job and has to face it!

hugs,

William

[dpodesta]

William,

It actually gave me a diversion so that I didn't have to face what was really going on. If you look at some of my previous posts you will see. The bankruptacy has helped me in the long run. I now have financial security, I don't have to live check to check and I am able to put money into savings. That is wierd that you had those problems with Messenger, I never have.

Love always

Derek

[kayc]

You guys are great, I love reading your conversations and interactions, like a family, taking care of each other.

I went through the same conversation from the social security office callously telling me less than a week after George died that our marriage had ended. What is with these people, how can they be so stupid and cold? I cried so hard I could hardly drive home!

I remortgaged my house to pay off the bills and wish I'd filed bankruptcy instead because it's caused me a lot o stress to try to keep up with everything, especially losing my job, getting a lower paying one that I have to pay $470/month more to go to/from work to. I feel strangled financially, but I keep trying and I've now survived over two years on my own!

[Stallyn]

Derek, It was yahoo messenger...oops. I never had issues with MS messenger, rock stable, a odd way for a diversion, did it prolong your grief?

Kay,

Interesting, I feel like we are in the same room talking to each other, its so awesome and really helps me to socialize. These people are something aren't they, no conception of how bad it is for us, know my income has dropped dramatically since my wife passed, living on a 1/3 of what we used to make and now I am only surviving with SSD and the income off the investments which is not much. It changes everything for us, $470 is high for transportation, is there a way to reduce that cost? The gas prices don't help any either. You come a long way since then

Hugs to my friends,

William

[dpodesta]

William,

Are you asking if the bankruptacy prolonged my grief? I would have to say in of itself no. It gave me something else to think about so that I wasn't left with just the death of Karen to thing about. It a way I guesas you could say that it did prolong it, but I needed it prolonged for myself. I also threw myself into getting things around the house repaired which was a lot of outside physical labor in the Texas heat. While working outside I was able to process my grief as much or as little as I wanted. As sucidal as I was at the time I needed those diversions.

Love always

Derek

[kayc]

William, my car payment is only $236 but add gas and insurance...that's what it comes to. It's a long commute, no decent paying jobs in Oakridge...only other option is sell my house...where George's ashes are laid to rest, where I raised my kids and buried pets, where the deer and the elk roam, where the trees I love are...you get the picture. Even if I sold, the rent in the city is higher than I pay on my house payment and I'd never be able to own anything again...so I pay and commute...

[dpodesta]

Kayc,

You forgot "where the clouds are not cloudy all day"

Love always

Derek

[karenb]

That's funny! You have a great sense of humor, Derek. I hope your day goes well.

Your friend, Karen

[kayc]

Derek, absolutely! You'd have to see it! My old mobile home is nothing, it's the property I love. It's peaceful and quiet, I just wish there were five more acres added to it!

[Stallyn]

Kay,

That makes alot of sense, you have so much there and why change it right? Such beautiful to get close to nature where you are, the rents here are high and I can never afford a house, I had 2 car payments after my wife passed and sold them both and bought a truck now is paid for since I cant afford car payments anyways. I thought alot moving somewhere other than desert and heat, and better overall environment.

Derek, you shown your faith does work! I find non stop chores helps me also. Probably keeps me out of the state hospital..

Blessings,

[Corinne]

Kay,

I know exactly what you are talking about. I had 2 1/2 acres 1 mi. back on a dirt road in the woods. It was like a little bit of heaven on earth. I had to sell it after John died. My mobile home was old and being taken over by mold and mildew. My brother made me an offer to move us out of there for our health and to give my girls more opportunities. So, I accepted since John's family was so mean to me. I am glad I made the move but I do miss the peace and quiet and the animals. We would see them all in the yard.

Hugs & prayers,

Corinne

William,

Did you take your meds.?

Hugs and prayers,

Corinne

[Stallyn]

You guys are so fortunate having the beauty around you, I really don't know what it is like since I live in the big city Phoenix, all I see is lizards, scorpions

and hot hot. Corrinne, that is so nice of your brother, I had the same problem with Myrna's family also, I noticed alot of us share that negative experience.

I did take the meds today, woo-wee! you guys are dear to me, I don't know what to say but I am grateful of the support

Big HUG!

William

[Corinne]

William,

We all know what it is like to be forgetful at times. Besides reminding you to take your meds helps to keep my memory sharp. Also, I have found that helping others really helps me. As for the beauty of the outdoors, I am now in a townhouse, but there is a beautiful park close by that I go to now instead of just walking out my front door.

Hugs and prayers,

Corinne