Memories

[walter/Erica]

I read / herad somewhere that the moment you are able to recall "negative or unpleasant memories" of your decesaed spouse/loved one, that also could indicate healing. What are your thoughts on this and what has been your own experience

As far as my memories go, I no longer only have the picture in my mind of Walter so ill and suffering. I can now picture a few pleasant times without sadness, and wonder of all wonders, my son and i had a lovely chat on Monday, where we were both able to share some memories of Walters imperfections , and we actually had a giggle! I just see God's hand of healing and I am grateful. I know its still a long journey, but at least I can see the light. i dont feel the desperation of months ago, the fear of never getting or feeling better. Praise God!

Also the triggers are not having the devastating effect they had on me a few months ago. For example I took a walk on sunday and saw a few grandparents with their grandchildren. It made me sad, but I didnt crumble!

[kayc]

I'm glad you are doing better! It really does get better with time, but it's a process that, unfortunately, we have to work through.

I can't really answer your question because I never did idealize George...I could always recall positive and negative things. My kids and I have enjoyed reminiscing over him...we even did so at his memorial service...we had an "open mike" time and people came up and shared stories about him. Some of them had us laughing as we recalled them!