Only Child Posted September 28, 2007 Report Share Posted September 28, 2007 Mom's gone three weeks tonight. I'm coming to terms slow but sure but am feeling so guilty tonight about her last day/hours. I can only remember one question I asked her all day. I was busy on phone asking docs/nurse/family if I should bring her to hospital, etc. Mom had more attention from Aide than me, and I realized it - I wasn't doing it deliberately but now I'm beating myself up. My best friend, my Mom - she would have been at my side all day comforting me and consoling me - I can't remember anything but asking if she wanted to go to hospital. I only remember her tapping the top of my hand with her nails. Nothing else but her breathing and eyes slowly closing. What's wrong with me? I wasn't afraid of being near her at the end - I WANTED to be there for her. Why did I fail her when she needed me most? Funeral was botched up, too, and I feel I should have done things differently - both issues can never be resolved.She was so dear to me.Hard time living with it and hating myself more than words can say.Only Child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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