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Dear Friends

took a real dive today. Like Wendy and william, i too am approaching the 7th month mark. Today I cried and actually went to lie down in the clinic for about 45 mns. I just felt so incredibly sad, lonely and depressed. Missed my husband so much. I have made an appt with my therapist for this afternoon.

Wendy I am so sorry that you have to go through this with your mom. I pray that God will be with you both in a special way and touch your mom and give you strength.

May God have mercy on each one of us

Love Erica x

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Erica,

I too am having "one of those days". I just past the 7 month mark on Sept. 24 for John and I will coming up on the 11th year for my Jimmy on Christmas. I feel like I am falling apart. Finding this website really has been a God send for me because as I have said when I lost Jimmy I covered all my feelings with alcohol. This time I chose not to and now have realized I never did grief work for Jimmy sometimes the pain is so intense I don't know what to do with it. There are so many feelings inside I cannot figure out which one to deal with first. I have decided I need to find a someone to help me sort everything out. I feel like Dusky said in his post "I miss what I was with him-and all that's left is this stranger to go on." I met Jimmy when I was 20 and lost him at 34, so he was a major part of me and now I need to find who the real me is and I'm scared and confused but I have two little girls counting on me. I am a private person and feeling very insecure of myself these days, it will be hard but I will make it with friends and God.

Erica, I pray that you find some peace today and that your therapist can help. You will be in my thoughts and prayers today.

Hugs & prayers,

Corinne

William,

Take your meds! :D

Hugs & prayers,

Corinne

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I am also feeling terribly sad and depressed tonight. I have not been on this site for a long time, went to another country hoping it will help me heal, but everyday i feel numb, i feel so empty, and most days it hurts so bad, i am cursing God and fate for being so cruel. why are we not given the chance to be together? is it so wrong to love each other so much? oh god, i would do anything just to have one day with him. when will this pain ends?

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Lyn and Corinne, What can I say. Corinne I cannot imagine what it must be like to grieve and take care of two little girls...I pray for an added portion of strength for you. I have jody 25 years and Jill 19 years. i am feeling terrible and in bed right now. Its 17:45 in South Africa..... i just feel so pained, have no energy, told my therapist I wish I could have sleep therapy till after the new year.....Like you I just feel so down, drained

I pray that we will get thru, May God help us

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Erica,

Yes, at times it is difficult with the girls because as you know grief has no time frame and sometimes it hits at really bad times when the girls really need me. I have not yet figured out if that is good or bad because yes it does stop the tears only to bottled up again. You have children too, yes they are older but I am sure they are grieving also and need you. You need to lean on them as they do you. I too have no energy and I really need to find a therapist and a job! It is already 12:05 here and I feel like I have accomplished nothing. We will get through this with the Grace of God!

Hugs & prayers,

Corinne

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Your grief is newer and fresher and it is really hard to digest and absorb, it's so intense. I pray for you that are newer to this that you will continue to get through it and that the pain and intensity can eventually channel into a more tolerable bittersweet memory that occasionally brings you a smile for its memory. God be with you, even when you're angry with Him, that's okay.

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Thanx Kayc for your good counsel, i listen to you and I then have hope that i too will get though. This is my constant prayer to God for each one of us who have lost our spouses

Corinne, How old are the girls? Yes my children are also grieving. Jody my son is 25 and we speak deeply about our loss when we are led to. He misses his Dad, but also is very protective over me.He told me once " Mom you and Dad were soul mates, I only pray that i will have a marriage like the two of you did" Jill my 19 year old daughter on the other hand does not want to speak about her dad and i respect that. I believe firmly though that when she needs me , she will come to me. I was very worried about her first semester results ( she only started at university this year, and her Dad died in March) however I praise and thank God that she is so industrious now. working on her computer even as we speak. But Corrinne I pray for them all the time, and as I pray for mine, I will now pray for your girls too.. anything in particular you want me to pray for?

Take Care

Have agood night, eric axxx

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Erica,

My oldest is 8 and my baby is 7. My older daughter will talk to me sometimes but my little one is too much like me and keeps it all in. I try to get her to talk to me about what she is feeling but she will not. She is very, very angry right now and I am afraid she may be getting that from me, that is why I need to find the right counselor or therapist to help. My little one could use any prayers to help with her anger. She adored her Daddy and I don't think she knows how to deal with it. Thank you for caring! I will keep you and your children in my prayers.

Hugs and prayers,

Corinne

P.S.

William, did you take your meds? :D

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Yes Corrinne, those are tender ages. it must be hard for them. they probably cannot identifyor even name their feelings..it is probably so overwhelming for them. But God is the great Healer. Jesus is able to reach into their little hearts and heal them. i believe that, I pray it now in Jesus nmae, and i ask that God will reassure you, by showing you in their behaviors that He is working in their young lives. I place thier young lives int His capable hands

Love, Erica

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Erica,

I hope you are having a better day today. Thank you so much for posting with me yesterday, it really did help. I am so concerned for my children. The past two days now my older daughter has gone back to her anger (I thought she was over it). Yesterday when my older daughter was screaming instead of talking I calmly asked her why she was so angry and she told me "You know, it is because someone is not here anymore." It broke my heart and I explained to her she can say it is because Daddy isn't here anymore. My sister is a nurse and I asked her yesterday to speak with the support person at the hospital she works at to see if she can recommend anyone for myself and for my precious little ones to help us along with our grief. I know with the grace of God we will get through this but sometimes it is overwhelming. I keep telling myself "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:13.

Hugs & prayers, :wub:

Corinne

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