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I just came back in to my desk at work from taking a moment outside; sipping coffee and eating some chocolate while the California sunshine warmed me.

I'd been reading a book by a buddhist who was reminding me to see and feel what's in the world around me.

In 38 days Kathy will have been gone a year.

She not only lived a full during her 46 years, she DEVOURED life. Expecially after surviving open-heart surgery a few years before her accidental death.

As much as I understood her passion for life, and how much she'd want all of us who survived her death to live life to the fullest, it's been difficult.

Day by day it's getting easier to experience pleasure again.

You know, it's a choice. I don't deny my sadness and loss. I try to experience it fully; feeling whatever is there to feel, usually shedding some tears, then proceed through it.

There's so much pain shared on these forums that I feel a need to share some happiness as well.

I hope each and all of you are able to find something to smile about soon.

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It is good to hear when someone is experiencing happiness again. We so often come here only when we are in pain and then when someone new comes on all they see is heartache and saddness. We need posts like this so people do know that it does get better.. May there be many more days like this one for you.

Love always


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Mrcelloboy In 29 days it is going to be 1 year for me loosing YIANY .As you say there is a lot of pain shared in these forums .In Greece we say that shared pain is half and shared happiness double .So it is good to post both feelings There is a lot of sunshine inGreece also but yet I can not find happiness. I do miss him more and more Thank you for your positive thinking it is so good to know.AS i can realise you must be young and have life and future to go on.My best wishes to you from far away. TENY

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That's what this is about...some steps forward, some steps backward, but overall progress is being made and that's what we have to keep in mind. It's good when you can finally see some good days, some smiles, notice the level of intensity has gone down a bit, see yourself dealing with things you never thought possible. Personally, I feel we should all give ourselves a huge pat on the back, we're making it!

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