My Precious Odyssey Died In My Arms

[Theresa]

Hello: I'm so glad I found this group. It's heartwarming to know there are those who recognize the profound grief at the loss of a special pet and are willing to help and share. Thank you guys.

May I begin by saying that I am very very sorry for your loss of your precious animal companions. The pain is great.

My darling Odyssey would have been 16 years old on November 2nd had he lived. He died in my arms 5 days ago, Tuesday, October 9th. He was a precious blue point Birman who has been my dear companion all these years.

He and I were a Pet Partner Team in his younger years doing Pet Therapy together in hospitals and nursing homes. We would especially go to our state Veterans Hospital in the psychiatric wards.

I'm not new to the pain of grief of the loss of a loved one, having lost my dear mother three years ago this month, and my newlywed husband 20 years ago. I barely survived that loss. It was a nightmare that defies description which included many months of him existing in a persistant vegative state.

I hurt. I miss my precious Odyssey. I miss his darling little face and pink tongue, his little head butts he'd give me when he greeted me every morning. Mostly I miss his unconditional love and his presence.

Three years ago I had to have his life long partner euthanized and it broke my heart. It was sudden with no preperation. Darling Rosey (an animal shelter rescue cat) suddenly began having seisures. I called her Vet who was here in 20 minutes. She gave me Rosey's prognosis and I immediately made the decision to release her from her pain. The doctor had to shave 3 paws to find a vein and jabbed her with the needle 3 times, with my angel screaming in pain with each stab. It was so so terrible. I kept appologizing to that angel baby over and over.

I am not sleeping well, as expected and very very sad. I cried my heart out and there will be more tears for my beloved Odyssey.

Thanks for reading,

Hugs,

Theresa

[MartyT]

Theresa, dear, we're so sorry for the loss of your beloved Odyssey. Please accept our deepest sympathy, and know that you have found your way to a very kind and caring place. We cannot take away your pain, but we certainly can walk with you so you don't have to bear it all alone.

Wishing you peace and healing,

Marty T

[Theresa]

Dear Marty:

Thank you so much for your kindness and for giving us a place to go where we won't be judged for our profound feelings of grief for our pet.

I had a neighbor whose little dog died and she was devastated. I encouraged her to talk and assured her that it was OK to express her feelings of grief.

Have your found that people who are not or have never been pet owners just don't understand that priceless bond between a human and their beloved pet?

I am having my eyes measured today for cataract surgery and hope all the crying I've done won't make a difference. I will tell them.

The exhaustion that goes along with grief is really something, isn't it?

Just to be able to come here is such a help to me.

Have a lovely day.

Hugs,

Theresa

[Corinna]

Theresa,

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Odyssey. We lost our little dog, Peaches, last week as well.

So far, I've found it's best to talk to people who are animal lovers and pet owners. People who've never owned pets really can't understand.

I would definitely mention your tears to the eye doctor - or maybe reschedule the appointment for next week. I've been crying for five days and my eyes are a mess. My eyelids are actually dry and chapped from wiping my eyes with tissues so much.

I wish I had more wisdom to offer you, but like you, I'm in the early stages of grief. I will say that it's gotten a tiny bit better each day. It's still very painful, but I am able to function somewhat now. It helped me to find this website and also to read a couple of books about pet loss. I bought one called "How to ROAR: Pet Loss Grief Recovery" and another called "Animals and the Afterlife." They helped a little bit.

Also, maybe your vet knows of a pet loss support group in your area. I noticed that the woman who runs this website - Marty - has an online pet loss group as well.

You and Odyssey are in my prayers.

Corinna

[MartyT]

Theresa, you asked, "Have your found that people who are not or have never been pet owners just don't understand that priceless bond between a human and their beloved pet?"

I know your eyesight is an issue for you right now, but when you are able to read some of the other posts in this forum, you'll find that dealing with the insensitivity of others is, for the bereaved animal lover, one of the most difficult aspects of mourning the death of a companion animal.

This notion of helping another in grief is a topic that is dear to my heart, and one that I've written about elsewhere. See, for example, the Helping Someone Who's Grieving page on my Grief Healing Web site, as well as my article,Pet Loss: Helping a Friend Who's Hurting

It's also the topic of my latest booklet, Helping Another in Grief, which has just been published by Hospice of the Valley here in Phoenix, AZ. (Aimed at those who find it difficult to “be there” for someone who is anticipating or coping with the death of a loved one, this booklet explains what is normal in grief, and offers concrete suggestions for helping another throughout the grief experience – not only before the death has happened, but immediately following, and over time.  Included are common myths and misconceptions about grief, as well as words of comfort, words to avoid, and a helpful list of “Don’ts.” For further information or to request a copy of the booklet, you are welcome to contact Hospice of the Valley's Bereavement Office at 602-530-6970, or notify me of your request via e-mail, at tousleym@aol.com.)

[waabzy]

Theresa I am so sorry to hear of the death of your sweet Odyssey. It sounds like she ( and you ) gave to a lot of people. Bless you for this.

I too lost my beloved dog, Nvwati on Sept. 28, 2007 due to a massive heart attack, suddenly, and in my arms.

You have experienced grief through deaths of other loved ones, and you know you will get through this.

When I found these boards I wasn't sure I would be able to cope but am learning I am stronger than I imagined I was.

Feel free to add a picture of Odyssey for us. I have included a picture of my Nvwati.

Take care[attachmentid=174]

[Theresa]

Dear Corinna

I'm also very sorry that you lost your little dog, Peaches.

Animal lovers and pet owners can understand the grief of the loss of a beloved pet.

I asked my doctor if I should postpone my eye measurement test and he said that there would be no need as the swelling from all the crying is not to my eyeball. Your eyelids are dry and chapped too? Bless your heart. Mine feel so dry and chapped I put a few drops of eye lubricant tears (yea.... like I need more tears...) and did it ever sting!

Sweetie, you care, you posted a personal note to me even though you're grieving the loss of your darling Peaches. That is support. Thank you so much.

What kind of dog was Peaches? How old was she?

I'm glad you found a couple books that help in your recovery. That's wonderful.

Thank you so much for keeping me in your prayers.

I wish you a restful night.

Hugs,

Theresa

[Theresa]

Dear Marty:

Thank you for the great topics you gave me to look up. I appreciate your help.

I am new at navigating this site.

To reply to your post to me, I hit the bottom right button dunder your post and erased your post and put in my reply.

Is this correct?

Also, is there a spell check?

Well, I did something today that I needed to do for me. My eye surgery will be done in the same hospital where my late husband died 20 years ago next month. So I asked my new husband if I could show him the room in which Fred died. He agreed. It was a bit difficult to find, due to the renovations and the fact that at the time I was suffering in the severe fog of depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Several nurses saw me obviously looking around and asked if they could assist. I told them: "No. Thank you."

How on earth could I say that I'm looking for the room my late husband died in, the unspeakable hell I had witnessed in there for months and months? (think Terry Shivo) How could I tell them that I wanted... actually... that I needed... to show this room to my husband? I couldn't because this was far too private.

Finally I found it and was able to look into the room, where his bed was and look at the belcony outside where I lived really, going home at night and back the next day.

To this day, 20 years later, I do not have, can not have, nor do I want photos of Fred of any kind around me. I have a container in my basement of a few momentos.

Last month I finally was able to look at photos of my precious mother who died 3 years ago this month. It still hurts very much.

Two days before my darling Odyssey's death, I took his photo off my desk and placed it in my closet. I've had to get rid of all his things. I cannot have anything around to remind me.

What happens is this. If I have a period of time of not remembering, it's a blessing. If I see something I would be constantly reminded.

I had a widowed girlfriend who made a shrine to her husband in her living room. That would not work for me. I used to think there was something wrong with me because I couldn't look at anything that in the least bit reminded me of the excrusiating pain of Fred's loss.

We all greive in our own way, don't we?

Hugs,

Theresa

[Theresa]

Dear Waabzy:

Thank you so much. Yes, he did give to people and only once did he hiss. I had placed him back into his cat carrier because he'd gotten very stressed by a patient. As I left the ward, a doctor wanted to see him. I took him out of his carrier and was quite embarassed that Odyssey hissed at him.

I am so sorry your lost your beloved Nvwati. It has only been two weeks. It hurts a lot, I'm sure. How old was he? He seems to be an adorable angel. How difficult your experience must have been.

I'm so glad too, that I found these boards. It's so helpful to have the support of people who understand what it feels like to lose a precious pet. I'm glad you're learing you are strong.

If you read my post just above this one to Marty, you'll see that I just cannot even look at a photo of Odyssey right now. In time, but not right now. I can't take it.

Again, dear, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hugs,

Theresa

[Corinna]

Theresa,

Thank you for your email response. Our dog, Peaches, was a grey and white Shih Tzu. She was 14 years old, but until her heart failure last week, was in very good health.

I understand why it's hard for you to have any physical reminders (pictures etc.) of Odyssey. I think you just have to do what works for you at this time. For some people it helps to have pictures around. For other people it's too painful. There are some items from my grandmother that I haven't been able to sort through yet because it's too upsetting. She died two years ago and she was one of my favorite people in the whole world.

Corinna

[waabzy]

Thank you Theresa. My Nvwati was 10.5 years old. He was born in my front room on my new duvet and came out butt first so my hands (which helped guide him out) were the first hands to touch him.

He is missed so very much! How are you doing today?

I just took Nvwati's tags off his collar because I will be gifting Mkwaa (my other dog) Nvwati's collar at his Memorial which is scheduled for Oct. 28th.

IF it fits her. She has a larger neck than he did I think.

[Theresa]

Dear Corinna:

Oh, hon, that must have hurt so much. I love Shih Tzus. They are so special. 14 years is a long time and I'm happy to hear he was in good health all those years.

So sorry you lost your grandmother two years ago. It sounds like you two were very close and you are still hurting from her loss.

You're been though a lot. Do you find yourself so exhausted and dragging through the day? I get up feeling nearly as tired as when I went to bed.

Do something nice for yourself tonight. I bought a pizza and some coffee ice cream for my husband and I to enjoy. He's so tired also.

Hugs,

Theresa

Dear Nvwati:

I'm feeling slightly better today and for the first day, I haven't cried (yet!) Thanks for asking.

How attached you must be to this little precious angel you help his mom to deliver. Bless your heart. That must have been quite a rewarding experience. Gosh, I'm sorry you lost him.

How wonderful that you'll be having a memorial for darling Nvwati. Do you know who will be attending? I think that's a wonderful idea. After all, a piece of your heart is and will always be with him.

Take good care of yourself. These are difficult times.

Hugs,

Theresa

[waabzy]

Hi Theresa. Well Nvwati's collar is too small for Mkwaa so I will get her a new one and put his with his urn.

Its interesting eh, how we all grieve in our own ways? You cant yet look at a picture of your baby and I cant NOT visit mine's Memorial page every day, sometimes several times a day.Nvwati was 10.5 years old, too young to die of a massive heart attack!

The funniest thing happened to me this week.

Mkwaa is sooooooooooo lost without Nvwati. When we come in from being outside she frantically paces every corner of every room, every closet - even the balcony looking for him. She has not been eating well and refuses to play in the park. I had her at the Vets when we went to pick up Nvwati's ashes and I was sharing how concerned I am for her. The vet agreed that sometimes dogs that were very close to and lose a sib, sometimes die soon after. I couldnt bear to lose Mkwaa too. The vet encouraged me to adopt another. Said I wasnt ready for that but would consider fostering. I was put in contact with a man who can no longer keep his dog. We spoke at length. I agreed to allow this dog to visit for a day to see how it goes. As we were hanging up I think to ask what breeed his dog is. He tells me its a male neutered well behaved, well trained, loves other dogs, cats and children.................. RED SIBERIAN HUSKY with one green eye and one blue eye. Check out Nvwati's picture. If this wasn't "Nvwati sent"

what is it?LOL

[Theresa]

Waabzy:

Oh, I'm so happy and excited for you and Mkwaa. It does sound like Mkwaa NEEDS a companion animal. Was Nvwati his littermate? If not, how old is Mkwaa?

It sounds like this would be the answer for your precious grieving Mkwaa even though you don't feel ready. That, dear, I sure can understand.

I went to my local animal shelter today and played with lots of lovely cats, but it was too soon for me. I began to speak to employee there about my darling Odyssey who died just 8 days ago and Rosey, my precious angel girl who died over two years ago. I broke down. I can't seem to stop talking about both of them.

I went into a store where the owner's two little dogs came running up to me, all excited and I just bent down and played with them and wanted to kiss their little noses.

When are you getting your foster boy?

What a coincidence that this boy is a Siberian Husky.

Please let me know how this visit goes.

Hugs,

Theresa