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In May 0f 2003 my son Jonathan died suddenly of a heart attack. I haven't been the same since. He has a brother and I am proud of the way he is holding up.

He was a very good skiier, swimmer, skateboarding, etc. - good looking kid "blondie" - I had always thought that when he was finished playing around and partying, etc. he would go on to university. He was loved dearly by all.

The night before his death he had gone out - doing the usual - skate boarding, playing XBox with his friends, etc. He got in late so I wasn't surprised when he slept late. He got up and I thought he looked a little pale. I asked him if he would like an egg salad sandwich and he didn't reply. It seemed to me that he was just looking out the window at the river. It was spring time so there were a lot of Canada geese out there with their little ducklings. So I put some eggs on to boil and went to make my bed. I came right back out and he was lying on the living room floor unconscious.

I screamed for a neighbour to call 911 and tried to revive him to no avail. The paramedics and police got there and they wouldn't let me near him. They couldn't get his heart going for long enough to transport him to the ambulance.

They would not let me into the ambulance with him, so I got a ride to the hospital in a fire truck. In emergency there must have been about seven doctors working on him and they still wouldn't let me see him. But I got in there anyway and I could tell by the atmosphere that things were not good. After a long while waiting in this little room they sent a social worker in to see me. So I knew things were really not good. Then the surgeon came in to tell me that if he did revive he would likely be seriously brain injured. I think I was in shock. Then they finally had him in intensive care in the cardiology unit. I was told that he was under a very strong sedative and would not wake up until morning at the earliest. So I went home. In the middle of the night some police came to my house to take me to the hospital because he had died. I wish I had never left that hospital.

I stood there in the funeral home at the viewing for hours just holding his hand. I did not want to say good bye. I put a little crystal stone in his coffin with him. He was buried wearing his favourite baseball cap, hoodie, and blue jeans. His friends gave him doobies and bic lighters mostly. His favourite music was played at the funeral. Most people got up to tell of their fondest memories with Jon. I couldn't speak. I think this is the first time I really have.

I miss him - it is very painful. Most people don't (thankfully) know how it feels to loose a child. You can't unless you have been there before too. So I hope that you will e-mail me with your thoughts.

Janet

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  • 3 weeks later...

Dear Janet,

I'm so sorry to hear of Jonathan's heart attack. It is the worse possible pain for a parent to lose their child.

Eighteen years together, guiding and loving and protecting a child is a long time, and Jonathan is very much in your heart and always will be....and that special place that is his will be his forever in your heart.

Wishing you rest and comfort,

Clara's mom

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  • 3 months later...
Guest motherofjon
In May 0f 2003 my son Jonathan died suddenly of a heart attack. I haven't been the same since. He has a brother and I am proud of the way he is holding up.

He was a very good skiier, swimmer, skateboarding, etc. - good looking kid "blondie" - I had always thought that when he was finished playing around and partying, etc. he would go on to university. He was loved dearly by all.

The night before his death he had gone out - doing the usual - skate boarding, playing XBox with his friends, etc. He got in late so I wasn't surprised when he slept late. He got up and I thought he looked a little pale. I asked him if he would like an egg salad sandwich and he didn't reply. It seemed to me that he was just looking out the window at the river. It was spring time so there were a lot of Canada geese out there with their little ducklings. So I put some eggs on to boil and went to make my bed. I came right back out and he was lying on the living room floor unconscious.

I screamed for a neighbour to call 911 and tried to revive him to no avail. The paramedics and police got there and they wouldn't let me near him. They couldn't get his heart going for long enough to transport him to the ambulance.

They would not let me into the ambulance with him, so I got a ride to the hospital in a fire truck. In emergency there must have been about seven doctors working on him and they still wouldn't let me see him. But I got in there anyway and I could tell by the atmosphere that things were not good. After a long while waiting in this little room they sent a social worker in to see me. So I knew things were really not good. Then the surgeon came in to tell me that if he did revive he would likely be seriously brain injured. I think I was in shock. Then they finally had him in intensive care in the cardiology unit. I was told that he was under a very strong sedative and would not wake up until morning at the earliest. So I went home. In the middle of the night some police came to my house to take me to the hospital because he had died. I wish I had never left that hospital.

I stood there in the funeral home at the viewing for hours just holding his hand. I did not want to say good bye. I put a little crystal stone in his coffin with him. He was buried wearing his favourite baseball cap, hoodie, and blue jeans. His friends gave him doobies and bic lighters mostly. His favourite music was played at the funeral. Most people got up to tell of their fondest memories with Jon. I couldn't speak. I think this is the first time I really have.

I miss him - it is very painful. Most people don't (thankfully) know how it feels to loose a child. You can't unless you have been there before too. So I hope that you will e-mail me with your thoughts.

Janet

Janet,

On June 21,2003 my son Jonathan passed away suddenly in an automobile accident. He was 20 years old. I am finding it extremely painful putting this in writing. I feel such pain each and every day. I struggle with why? every day. I prayed for him always.

He was loving,kind and we loved each other so very much. He was 6'2,blonde hair and blue eyes. He had such a beautiful smile.

I also held Jon's hand in the casket and it was so very hard letting go

I talk to him and believe he hears

I feel your pain and you will be in my thoughts and ever so much in my prayers

Blessings to you,Vicki

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  • 4 weeks later...

I am so sorry for you loss...I know how hard it is to let go...But I can't imagine loosing a child...It must feel so wrong...Partents are not suppose to bury their children...The children are suppose to outlive their parents...

It makes my heart bleed thinking of your son...Hang in there and know in you heart that you someday will meet him again...

(((HUGS)))

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  • 5 years later...

Dear Janet,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. I loss my beloved son Robert on 8/06/09. He was the oldest of four. We were so very close. He was my buddy. I miss him so terribly that sometimes I can't even breath. He was a handsome, 6 foot, 4 inch athlete. Twenty four years old. My husband went to wake him for work, and he had already passed. I wake every day believing this was just a nightmare. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, or I could offer you some comfort, but I am not there yet. The only thing I could offer you is support and pray that you, I, and everyone else facing this unbearable loss will find the way to healing. As I understand it, it is a lifelong process. I will think and pray for you and your family and all the families in this group every day. May you find peace.

Sue

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