Forgiveness

[MartyT]

Dear AnnieO,

The topic of Forgiveness is important enough that I am taking the liberty of placing it in its own thread, in hopes that it will generate further discussion.

Earlier this morning in another forum you wrote,

I always hesitate to post in this forum,because losing my parents ,I know is much different than losing your spouse. But when I read your post about "forgiving" it hit me so hard. I know that a few months ago I did forgive my dad on some level, I had to if I was going to take care of him. But today I realized I haven't completely forgiven him. I feel no freedom and I am trapped here.I am a mess and my brother's life is out of control. My brother's therapist says my brother is isolating himself from everyone that loves him because he is carrying around so much shame. I am organizing a memorial gathering for my parents and am doing all of it alone. I just want my mom and I blame my dad for her not being here, I look at what my life is right now and how sad my kids are, and how my brother' life is..and I blame my dad. And then I realize how much I miss my dad too. I know so many of us mark time with how many months we are into the grieving process...I can no longer mark my progress or healng because I don't fit into any of that anymore, it's been 11 months next week for my mom and 4 weeks this week for my dad. It just feels like I am back at the beginning.So, after all this rambling I guess I just need to know how I stand up and say.."I forgive you"

thank you for listening.

The Internet contains a number of excellent articles on forgiveness, including an entire Web site (The Forgiveness Web) devoted to the topic. Here are two articles that you may find helpful:

How to Forgive: 10 Guidelines, by Victor Parachin

The Gift of Forgiveness, by Christine Jette

[AnnieO]

Marty,

As always..thank you for being here.

[Corinne]

Marty,

Thank you so much! You have reminded me, with the articles, how important it is to forgive oneself and others. Holding anger and resentment inside is so damaging. It has been a while since I have lived by the rule of forgiveness. You can forgive people without doing it to their faces and it will free you from that which is clouding your thinking and not letting you function.

Hugs & prayers,

Corinne

[karenb]

Thank you, Marty. I truly believe in forgiving others. I know it releases us, and as you know it doesn't have anything to do with them just allowing us to be free. I know you know. Thanks again.

Your friend, Karen