Stallyn Posted November 6, 2007 Report Share Posted November 6, 2007 Something happened, it hit alot of nerves, Wendy I don't know what to say, theres alot on your plate, I wish I could help you some way, maybe cancel the lousy holidays. My B-day and Myrna's diagnosis Dec 28thJan 29th anniversary,March 2nd one year lossApril 1st Her b-daydoesn't compare to you but lets keep supporting each other through this time, I have run out of steam, ugh, this day was bad from the start..love,WIlliam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted November 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Okay, now it is my turn. I am so tired of having to do everything by myself. Making sure Carson does his homework (Correctly), gets his reading done, dishes put up clothes washed and folded, cat and dogs fed, house picked up, etc..... does it ever end? See, even someone who has been going through this for 17 months(today) steps backwards every now and then. Wendy and William, you better take your meds I am not joking around.Oh, and I almost forgot, not to mention school fund raisers. Any one want some frozen cookie dough?Love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Okay....well, then? How about someone my age, with no little ones to care about, no outside job to worry about, no need to do anything I don't want to do, one person to clean up after, house doesn't get hardly dirty, don't have to get up unless I want to. I HAVE to make myself do everything of my own will, and I do....granted it's just for me, not anybody else, and I have to find (something I haven't done yet) something to volunteer for or some special interest. What then? The day will come when you will see my day and you'll be so happy you just trudged along and did what you had to...love you, you guys!Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted November 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 LOL ,Sounds like paradise to me.Love Derek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Believe me, I don't ever want to go into "those" days when my children were little and I was with my first husband...no one wants to hear that. I'm just grateful that my 3 kids and I came out of it as well as we did. I'm grateful for so many things. I hope Carson is doing well. You do sound good, Derek.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Derek,May I say, it stinks! whats the joy in things we did with our partners? housework, clothes, caring for offspring, something I have to experience in, it must be double hard with it. Derek, as frustrating as it may be but you proven your endurance continually. Yes I did take my meds today but it still was a down day, whats going on here?? is the planets in alignment, or global warming?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted November 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Karen, I am so sorry you had a bad experience with marrriage. If I could I would go back, but we know that isn't possible so I will have to just make due. I just wonder at times if I will always be by myself in raising Carson. Then I also think that I am kind of enjoying the single life. It is so confusing at times.William,I don't know what is going on, it seems like it is contagous it started with you all and then moved on to me. Maybe because I am further away it took a day to get here. Karen would always fold the clothes which I can't stand to do. I have always washed and put away, but now I also have to fold and I hate folding so most of the time they sit clean on a pile on the couch and I just pull clothes off of the pileLove alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Karen, you became what you are today because of it right? Derek, I find myself in a lull thinking I enjoy the single life and in the same sentence I have no choice and feel guilty. does that sound like us?? wish time travel was possible arr... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted November 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Yes that does sound like us, it is a little different for me since I have a child to take care of so I have some responsbility but at the same time I don't have to answer to anyone so it is a mixture of feelings. I miss being married but enjoy being single, it is wierd.Derek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Derek,I know exactly what you mean! The only difference is I have two girls to get the homework done correctly and listening to "Mom I need your help." "No Mom I need your help more." I also miss having a partner but also I am liking the single life, it is weird. I had a teachers conference today with Kerri's(8) teacher because she is having some difficulties in school work with all the changes in our lives, but her teacher and I have decided that she is starting to show improvement. My Kayla(7) is still so angry and having some difficulty socially in school. I am bringing the girls for a session with my therapist to see if we can figure out how to help them. I am still looking for work and Kerri probably needs glasses we will find out tomorrow. It really does seem to never end and is so tiring at times, but we will get through.Hugs & prayers, Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 I did have the most wonderful life with my Jack that made up for the many years before that....and I am thankful, so much. Every now and then I think what it would be like to have a "companion" again. I guess I'm a caretaker. You know the saying, "It is what it is." I'm picking that one up along with, "Thank you, Lord, for bringing me to where I am, with grace and love ." Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted November 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Corinne,Wow you do have your hands full with a 7 and an 8 year old. We had wanted more than one child but with the health problems Karen had it wasn't possible. In all of God's wisdom he allowed us only one because he knew what was going to happen in the future and that I would be raising him on my own, while I am sure I could handle 2 I am glad to have only 1. I had problems with Carson's behavior during his first school year after Karen's death. I have started Carson with a therapist recently to help him further. Why is it that we are enjoying being single, I loved Karen and loved being married to her but like William said I feel guilty for enjoying the single life.Love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Derek,I am not sure but I think we are enjoying the single life at the moment because it is hard enough trying to take care of ourselves and the children that to add one more right now (as nice as it might be) would just be too much for us to handle. I think after we heal enough our feelings on the addition of someone else to our lives may change. That is my best guess at this point.Hugs & prayers, Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted November 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 I actually dated a while back, I thought I was ready but realized I wasn't. But I think you are right, because while dating it did take up a lot of my time and I think that is why I don't want to any more. I have enough to do and can't get it all done if I add that into the equation, not to mention making sure certain indivduals are taking their medications. Love DerekPS I still haven't heard from Wendy, have you taken your meds???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Corinne,Perhaps that is it, I got enough on my plate mentally to keep quite a few doctors employed. I tell everyone I know that marriage is a definitive no, perhaps since I did not have any children we were together alot, and dependent on each other. think thats why my own grief is difficult. plus my own stupidity getting involved with online dating so quick turned me to reason.Wendy, are you ok?? pls let us know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Karen,I know what you mean about being a caretaker I have that in me as well, but it is all I can do right now to keep up with taking care of myself and the girls, "It is what it is." Well, it is 9:30 here and I have two little girls that won't go upstairs without me so I must go take care of them. Have a good evening!Hugs & prayers, CorinneP.S.William did you take your meds today? William you also need to take care of yourself. I am a firm believer in if it is meant to be it will happen when the time is right so you worry about taking care of you and when the time is right it will happen. Good night my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted November 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 William,I remember what happened to you with online dating. I think you got involed too quickly. Give it time, you never know you might just meet someone some day when you are least expecting it and before you know it you will be together. I know for me when I stop looking for something I usually find it, that is the way it happened with Karen, I finally said to myself that is it I am tired of the dating game and I give up. The next thing I knew I met Karen through a friend of mine and the rest is history.Love Derek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Well I certainly missed alot here tonight ! I need a nap after reading all the posts tonight and by time I got done I forgot what I read ! LOL Derek I did take my meds...yeah ! Now, what is all this talk about everyone enjoying being single ? I hate it ! But if I can't be with Steve then at the moment I have no desire to be with anyone. You know after you have been with someone for over 30 years everything comes naturally. You know eachother inside and out you know the good the bad and the ugly ! It takes a long time to get to the point where we were with our spouses and you know what, right now I just don't have the energy to get into a relationship, I don't want to be alone though either. Well what ever happens happens, right? William I am okay , are you okay? We had a rough night the other night huh? Still feeling kinda poopy here but alittle better I guess how about you?Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Corinne,I did take them, its been a rough day.Derek, that is what I decided to do, just don't have the energy to bother with it. I was living a pipe dream for awhile Wendy, you are really tired huh? yes last night was really a tough one, I hate it too, being single but at the flip side I try to enjoy it, 3o years is a long time and I can understand your feelings, I probably posted the same views months ago, its one thing to trade in a car, but a spouse? how can you ever fill such a big gap, time only tells I suppose, I believe they will remind us with love all around us, forever.Well today was a difficult day, I have a peer support that comes 2x a week and has similar diagnosis as me, and widowed 5 years ago, found out his late wife had some bad experiences like my Myrna, I just couldn't believe it, the pain we felt was deep. such is life...take care all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 William you say it was difficult , do you find this peer support helps you at all and where did you find out about this?Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 William....Sounds good for you....is it? I'm sorry I'm so dumb...but to you what does peer support mean? I hope it's what I'm thinking...a friend...a real support?Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Wendy, Karen sorry, its a support program funded by the state, the peer support is recovering or current mental ill patients that share their experiences and friendship. exactly a friend and support, it does help immensely since I don't have the friends and family. I was blown away when I first met him, he told me he lost his wife 5 years earlier after 35 years. hugs,William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 William...I am so grateful for this "find." Please keep up with it...this support program is great. I'll ask Danny's case worker if there's anything like that around Bellingham. Thanks.LU....K Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Karen, I am felling better readind your post, that crossed my mind, does he get case management and pdoc supplied to him from the state? if so there is perhaps a few agencies that have peer support in the area, HUGS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Yes, bless her heart, his case manager has been with him for 15 years and the doctor as well. He's also been involved in a group that cleans offices twice a week and that helps him pay for his cigarettes. I wish he didn't smoke but it's pretty normal to smoke and relaxes him. I'm going to check on the peer group. Thanks, WilliamYour friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now