Faith/trust

[walter/Erica]

I feeel terrible. Its 8 montsh...I feel like I am reeling....by surely the most horrific event in my life . In the New Testamnet .Jesus askes the question' Will I find faith on earth when I rerturn" I feel like my faith is being really tied and tested. You all sound so good, I pray that God will get the rest of us to the point where mnay of you are

There is also the story of the women who was bent over for 18 years. I feel doubled over like that with grief

[karenb]

I truly am so sorry you're having such a difficult time. We all do have our ups and downs, definately. My faith was tested there for a while but the Good Lord came out on top, thank goodness. You've heard so many times that time helps lessen your load....and it really does. You just keep trying and praying, even if you don't even want to. You know He's always with you. It is so hard, I understand. We're here for you any time...just keep coming back.

Your friend, Karen

[dpodesta]

Erica,

I found that 8 months was right in the thick of things. At that point for me it seemed like I was coming out of the final stages of shock where I was finally coming to the realization that this wasn't a bad dream I was in, it is reality. The 8th and 9th month seemed to be the worse ones for me, also keep in mind that the this is also mixed with the holiday season coming up. I remember thinking around this time last year that if I could only make it until Jan 2nd, if only I could fast forward through everything until the 2nd. Well I wasn't able to fast forward, however I did make it, one day at a time and by praying to God when I needed, even if the prayer is "God help me". I will be praying for you ans everyone on this site. I know that this is difficult for you right now, and it will continue to be for a little while, just hang on and keep coming here.

Love always

Derek

[walter/Erica]

Thanx Karen and Derek. It feels like I am in the thick of things. I am feeling so scared because it feels like I will never come out of this...My main concern at the momemnt is that God will leave me stuck here forever...it sure feels that way to me

I have also felt Derek, that I could have "sleep therapy" from 1 December to 6th January , so i would not have to face Christmasstime, my wedding anniversary and my birthday. I am holding ont Jesus and to the example set by you all

[dpodesta]

Erica,

I know right now that it seems like you will never see the light of day again. I know when I was going through it, it seemed like I was ina thick black fog. Even looking back, and remembering where I was last year it seems so dark. I promise you, it will get better and remember that once you have trusted God he will never leave you or forsake you.

Love

Derek

[kayc]

Erica,

8 months may seem a lifetime to you in light of all that's taken place, yet it isn't enough time to judge anything by, it DOES take time, considerable time, yet you will feel in a couple of years that you are finally doing better. When we are in the thick of something we don't see measurable progress, but when we look back, it is then that we can see it more easily. Our hearts go out to you, I know you are in a lot of pain right now, we've all been there...and still are sometimes.

[WendyJ]

Erica,

I am going through the same thing. I thought I was handling things fairly well even though I secretly think I was still in somewhat of a stage of denial, but 8 months is Wednesday for me and I feel like I am going backwards. I think alot of that too is all the advertising already for the holidays. I just went into a gift store and almost all their Christmas stuff is out and it was breaking my heart. Such pretty stuff that in the past I would have been so tempted to buy and now it meant nothing to me. I am dreading everything to do with the Holidays coming up and it is depressing me so bad. Please know you are not alone !

Love,

Wendy

[teny]

unfortunatly we are a lot of us suffering.For me faith has gone away and only why took its place.Last week was 1 year this coming frday it is our weding anniversary.Holdays are close and I also feel I want to go for along sleep and maybe not to get up to face my loss.Im sorry for all of you.TENY

[WendyJ]

Teny I hope you get through this week okay with your anniversary coming up. I had to go through our wedding anniversary a month and a half after I lost Steve and it was horrible. I did have my sister sleep over and play games so it did help alot. is there something you can do on that day to help keep your mind busy?

Love,

Wendy

[kayc]

Teny,

I am sorry you are still feeling this way. Have you seen a doctor about depression? You are a beautiful artist, and it would help if you could find interest in doing that, the fact that it no longer brings joy to you indicates possible depression and that is treatable. Just a consideration. If you don't want medications, exercise sometimes boosts the spirits, as long as it is done regularly. I know you are not alone in feeling this. I still fight it from time to time, but it's getting better, but I'm in my third year. Do take care of yourself, I hope it improves for you!

Love,

KayC