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I Thought I Was Strong

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I thought I was ready for this..I have always been so strong, but now I am so sad, confused, adrift. My husband, Larry, passed away, here at home, as he wanted, last Friday, with me and his HOV nurse. He was ready..I thought I was ready..I knew his suffering would be over, that he would be better off. It's only been 4 days, but each day, it gets more difficult for me. We would have been married 37 years this August 1st. I am wondering if I will ever be okay again. I feel like half a person. The night is so long, so lonely, so empty. sad.gif

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My dear friend,

Like everyone else who reads your message, I am so sorry for your loss and so very sorry you have a reason to be coming here -- but we're glad you found your way to this site, and we all want to welcome you to this warm and caring place.

Because your husband was a patient with Hospice of the Valley here in Phoenix AZ, I want to be sure you know about the bereavement services we offer. Someone from our Bereavement Office will be contacting you by phone within the next two weeks, but I want you and others reading this to have this information now.

Based on its belief that continuing support for the family after a death is crucial to the healing process, Hospice of the Valley offers a variety of programs and services designed to guide bereaved family members through their first year of grief.

Services include a variety of bereavement support groups for adults, children and their families, individual and family counseling, periodic telephone follow-up and informal social gatherings at different times throughout the year.

In addition to a monthly calendar of events, educational material is sent to each family to help them better understand the grieving process. One example of such material is our bi-monthly In Touch Bereavement Newsletter.

Bereavement staff members and volunteers are available and will stay in touch with Hospice of the Valley families for at least thirteen months after the death of a loved one. If you have any questions, need information or just want to talk to someone, please feel free to contact the Bereavement Office of Hospice of the Valley at 602-530-6970.

Visitors reading this from other parts of the country should know that similar bereavement services are offered by other hospices as well. To locate a hospice in your own community, search the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization data base.

My friend, you say you thought you were ready for this -- but I don't know how anyone can possibly know how such a life-altering event will feel until it actually happens. It has only been four days. Be patient with yourself, and know that, while we cannot take away your pain, we will not leave you to travel this grief journey all alone.

Wishing you peace and healing,

Marty T

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  • 2 years later...

Hi gwennie,

First of all I want to say that I am very, very sorry for your loss.. It must be so very hard to loss someone you love so very much... I know when I first loss my mom I did not know how I was going to handle it...I thought I was going crazy and did not know how I was going to make it through without my mom.. but I have made it through and I still have my bad days but they are getting less and less. So hang on and things will get better for you and I will pray for you that God will give you the strength to see you through your grief journey... Take care Shelley

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I know what you mean about thinking you are ready. My dad died at home and I thought I was going to face it, and be glad that he was no longer suffering (although, thank God for Hospice. I know they did everything possible to keep him from any pain) But when it finally happens, it hits you so hard it takes your breath away. I don't think anyone is really equipped to handle the death of a loved one. Please take advantage of the Hospice bereavement services. I didn't, and now wish I had. And come back to this board. It is a place where you can talk about your feelings and just rant if you want to. We all care. Hang in there, things will get easier one little step at a time.

Hugs to you,


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