Existential_Cat Posted December 25, 2007 Report Share Posted December 25, 2007 I didn't know where else to put this, and since my best friend was like a sister to me, I thought I should put it here. I hope that no one minds.I lost my best friend this month to complications in her treatment to Cancer. It has not been easy. I feel like I have not been dealing with this well at all. I find myself staring at her picture, wishing I could talk to her again and sometimes I do talk to her but of course no one answers. We spoke almost daily, sometimes several times a day, until she got ill and lost her voice. She was given 6 months to a year to live, she lasted 8 weeks.I have found myself asking questions about life that I never asked before. Why we are here, what's the purpose of it all, and what really happens when we die. I realize everyone has their own religious beliefs on this, but I am a very factual person, and the typical religious explanations just don't satisfy me. Yes I believe in God, I just don't understand why....and all those things bother me. I know that I am depressed and it frustrates me to not have control of my life and feelings. I have plenty to keep me busy but talking to her was a daily part of my life. We shared everything...and now I feel very alone...if not basically helpless to help her husband (who I promised to look after).I find myself wanting to scream at the world, I am angry, and while I know that that is normal, I still feel guilty for it. My whole life has been turned upside down and I feel like any minute that everything I love is going to disappear. Living like that has really started to bother me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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