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I Lost My Husband Yesterday

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I hate saying I lost him. Like he's a pair of keys and I'm going to find him under the couch. But I don't know what else to say. He passed away around noon yesterday. He was 29, leaving me with 2 young girls (ages 3 and 15 months). I am so lost right now. I have a lot of family and friends around me, but I only want him back. It was all so sudden. Tuesday morning he felt fine. By midnight on Tuesday the doctors told us he was probably brain dead. It took a few days for me to feel ready to let them turn off the ventilator. He died from complications during a procedure to remove dual pulminary embolisms. His heart stopped and it took 15 minutes to restart his heart. But 15 minutes without oxygen caused brain death. Then his whole body failed. He was about to start his final year of Law School. I am trying to be strong, but I don't know how to do this.

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