Got To Feeling A Little Better Then Slid Right Back

[Cindi]

Took my dad to Lauglin last weekend to ease his pain of their 56 wedding anniversary without my dear mom. My dad likes to gamble but he's reasonable and doesn't spend all of his money. He did pretty well emotionally whereas I just feel to pieces again and the depair has not yet lessened. So here I am crying again as if my mom died yesterday instead of almost 6 months ago.

Still suffering the depression which has never gone away and don't want to do much of anything. I've pretty much turned into a couch potato. Extremely hard to get up and go to work every day.

I am missing my mom so much.

Love

Cindi

[shell]

Cindi,

I'm so sorry you're feeling the way you do, but six months is nothing on the grief scale! It's perfectly normal to "slide back". So don't worry about it and don't feel like anything is wrong with you. Falling apart comes and goes for a long time, so enjoy the moments when you can have a laugh or enjoy something, and when you fall apart, accept it, cry, and know that eventually it will pass for a time again. Hang in there.

A big hug,

Shell

[shubom]

Cindi, sorry for the loss of your mom. I remember when my dad first died, and how horrible it was for my mom. I felt so bad for her, myself, my dad, my family. It was horrible. I tried my best to take care of her. Both of my parents loved Vegas. We tried to continue the family vacation afterwards but it was hell, and we ended up never going back. My mom passed away 2 years ago, and the first year was very painful. She was my best friend.

I too couldn't get out of bed and go to work. If it wasn't for my Grandmother and my aunt, who knows where I would have ended up.

It still hurts now, but I try my best to allow myself to feel those pains.

To be sad when I'm sad, and to be happy when I'm happy. That way I'm not confused on my emotions.

I figure I still have to live here in this world. Why not make the best of it. I still have to deal with these everyday issues, just like everyone else. So I cannot allow myself to fall between the cracks. It would break my mom's heart, and everything she worked for would be gone.

Just give it time, and it'll get better. And it's ok to feel those feelings. Just give yourself time.

I hope this helps. No one can replace mom's love.....

[shell]

Shubom,

I'm so proud of the progress you have made, and I'm sure your mom would be too. Everything you say is so true and you are thinking in a healing way. Good for you, sweetie!

Hugs,

Shell