Decided To Use My Real Name Now

[Guest Gamer205]

I Just wanted to tell everyone my real name is Robert Fraley that is under my name of Gamer205

Sorry if this is a wasted post,I just wanted to let everyone know my real name and share a little about myself,

I'm 25 and a Special Needs Person,I have a disablity and I was born 3 months premature I was suposed to die but I didn't,I live with my parents and there very wounderful to me and take very very good care of me,My Friend Jason was a Special needs person as well,My Parents do a lot for me and they love me greately, and always seen I had what I needed,

Jason Was my only real Friend that I did anything with like going to his house and things,my parents kelpt me sheltered I guess you might say but only because they worrie about me and I have a wounderful family and great friends here at Griefhealing

I still have a few friends outside my family that I do stuff with and they try to help me cope with my friend's death.

I hope, I don't think you all will think any less of me I just thought I would tell a little about myself,

Thanks for all you all's support here at Griefhealing its very much appreceated.

Thanks

[DesertBob]

Robert,

(Nice honest name, I like Bobs, as you can imagine).

Not only don't I think less of you, I think more of you. It makes your attachment to your friend all the more understandable.

My wife died from a terrible life-long illness and suffered very much but she faced life with great courage. I have the utmost respect for anyone who lives with disability and disease and remains gracious and positive, like you do.

--Bob

[Guest Gamer205]

I appreate that,

Thanks

[Guest Gamer205]

I haven't been very postive lately,I guess I just have been going threw a hard time,but I do appreate your comments.

[shell]

Robert,

I think it's so nice of you to give your name. It makes it more personal. I'm so sorry you lost your best friend, it is so hard. I'm glad and relieved to hear you have a wonderful family and some other friends who are trying to support your grief. I also think more, not less, of you for sharing this with us and coming to this site.

It's ok if you haven't been too positive lately...no one would expect you to be and that's why you can come here and talk about "negative" things. It's very hard to be positive when you lose someone you care about, so don't worry about it. You have to get all your feelings out to begin to heal.

A big hug to you,

Shell

[Guest Gamer205]

Thanks Shell,I know its been since May 31st 2004 but its just hard expecialy how I found out about his death as in my story I posted about it in my first post here at Griefhealing and not haveing all the times with him that I used to and talking to him on the phone and going over his house and playing games and talking about pro wrestling,I just miss all of that,

Anyway Thanks

[DesertBob]

I haven't been very postive lately,I guess I just have been going threw a hard time,but I do appreate your comments.

I don't mean positive in the sense that you pretend you're not hurting or sad. I mean that despite the fact you're hurting you're not bitter, angry, and resentful.

Now I suppose you'll tell me you've had moments of bitterness, anger, and resentment. Of course you have, but they do not dominate you and that is a victory.

You're going through a rough patch -- that's normal. Grief comes and goes. Don't be discouraged. You'll get through it.

Hang in there,

--Bob

[Guest Gamer205]

Thanks DesertBob for your reply,

I've got good news for you and everyone here I'm feeling much better and I want to thank all of you who have talked to me about this,

I've also told God my feelings and I've also decided to just trust him and know that he has a plan and that he is there and is loveing,

I've also decided to just try to focus on the good times I had with him and keep him in my mind and heart.and try not to get sad about his death but I'm going to focus on the time I had with him and be thankful for that,

He will always be with me in my heart and mind and I'll see him one day again in Heaven hopely with God's Help and guidence,

Thank you all and God bless

You all have been so helpful to me.

[Elizabeth A.]

I love good days.

Robert~ I to like the name, that is my husband's name. It's a feeling of trust in all of us here, that you would share your name with us. I am handicapped, perhaps you've met someone like me. I'm the normal looking person using the scooter at the grocery store, and you can't tell by looking at me just why. It results in all forms of dirty looks. Ah well the world can be mean to what they don't understand.

Take care of yourself and may your happy days always out number the bad ones.

[Guest Gamer205]

Thanks for all the help you all here at griefhealing.

[Guest Gamer205]

That was so nice of you to say Elizabeth

Take care of yourself and may your happy days always out number the bad ones.

You to and everyone else at griefhealing,

You people are the best!

[shell]

Elizabeth,

I'm so glad you reminded us not to judge a book by it's cover. I very shamefully admit I have seen people in the grocery store riding around in the motorized carts and thought, they don't look like they need that! Or parking in the handicapped zone and hopping out of the car and walking normally into the store, and thinking they were cheating, using a car with a handicapped sticker on it that belongs to another family member! But I can say that I usually catch myself and think....you never really know what's going on, so I hope that excuses me a little! But it's good to be reminded.

Hugs,

Shell

[Elizabeth A.]

Oh Shell I suppose I should think of the looks as compliments. I would love to do all my grocery shopping standing on my own two feet, and not have to pay dearly all night. Or perhaps to simply visit Hom3 D3pot without having to go in the "exit" simply to get to one of those darned scooters. Thanks for thinking we look normal. I'd love to be normal. As you may know I was at Disney World a week ago Monday and the worest right was the People Mover, that's the one where you go up and then sit. It's simply standing on the vertical incline thing that makes me crazy. Okay I'm much to chatty cathy at this time of night. I'm off.

Robert~ Glad you're sticking around!

[shell]

Elizabeth,

I'm so sorry for your condition, it must be hard. You didn't mention why you have to use a scooter (not that I'm asking you to), but anytime you can't get around on your own, it is so hard and tiring I imagine. But the fact that you would go to Disney World and keep going is proof of how strong and determined you are. That's great, you should be proud of yourself.

You're never too chatty!

hugs,

Shell

[rosanne]

Shell,

I wanted to send you a a little story I read one day, what you had posted earlier reminded me of it- and I still think of it from time to time, when I judge but should not-

A man was running late for an interview and kept on driving around and around looking for a parking space- he saw a woman get in her car and darted quickly to pull up behind her and get her parking space he waited and waited and waited and was to a boiling point when he started blowing his horn- she just set there so he jerked the car door open and ran up to her car and knocked on the window- He said, Hey! Lady are you going to move it?? She looked at him with tears streaming down her face.... she rolled her window down and said, I just found out that I am dieing ,I have three months to live!

It definitely put things in perspective for the man- moral of this story You really do not know what is going on in the lives of the people you meet on a daily basis.

[Guest Gamer205]

Hey Elizabeth do you like reading books?

I have been reading a book called The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren it helps me and comforts me a little,and its really good.,

Theres another one I like called Faceing Your Giants by Max Lucado which is really good to,The Last one I'm reading which is also good is called I Dare You By Joyce Myers.

I'm sure you may have heard of it The Purpose Driven Life,if not maybe check it out if your into books that is,

Anyway Hi Elizabeth just wanted to share these with you,if your into books I thought I would tell you about these books I'm reading,there really good and helpful,

Talk to ya soon Elizabeth Take Care

Gamer205-Robert Fraley

[Guest Gamer205]

I visted your homepage you have on your profile,I like your website its neat.

I also seen that you are into books so thats good,get the time check out some of those books I told you about,

You done a good job on your site.

I love tomorrow I am a college Basketball fan and the NCAA Tournament Starts Tomorrow lots of great games on tomorrow as well as friday and the whole weekend,its my favorite time of the year besides Christmas of corse.

[Elizabeth A.]

Oh Shell I'm sure there are things you could be nosey about and I would tell you so, but my limitations I have worked very hard to be strong enough to share them with others. Seven years ago this past Jan. I was in a minor car accident. I went to call the police (no cell phones) when I came back the way to my car appeared clear. So I took it at a run. But another car going 55 mph hit me. I rolled down the side of his car, he ran over my foot and the force of volicity set a spin up my leg. I took off his passager side mirror with my pelvis. It was all very traumatic. I was in the hospital for 2 months 1 week and in a wheelchair for 6 months. I signed the papers for amputation of my right leg 4 times. But each time the doctor left it. So now I have two legs, the very two I was born with. One is just missing a bone and some muscles. Needless to say it's not perfect and after seven years you would think everything would be healed. But I guess some pain doesn't go away. Just a few nights ago for no particular reason that I can fathom, I had spasms in my leg so bad I couldn't sleep and kept kicking out in reflex. Nasty business.

So everytime I can "ride" I do. It wasn't always this way. Sometimes post the accident when I had to visit the grocery store I would push a cart, but ALWAYS those mean nights would happen afterwards. I actaully STOOD the entire time I was at two different places trying to while get a quote on having my husband's wedding ring made (note they all want you to look through the same 100,000+ page book (or so it seems) to see if you can find something "close" before they will even quote it out. So between conversations with co-workers and my own mother about these trips, I came to the conclusion everyone who ever hurts a leg, foot, or pelvis or simply perhaps on a bed-rest pregnancy should have pounded into their heads. Those scooters are there to be used. That's their sole purpose. My mom even had to go on this long explantion about how many scooters the grocery store has, vs how many scooters are needed on non-peak need times, to convince me. Now it's gotten so bad that if I go into a big store and they don't have one I have to hurry get only one or two things and then hurry out, or suffer through, or leave. That's it those are my choices.

Robert~ Thank you for the book suggestions. I do like to read, I am currectly reading an easy reading peice of ficton that I can easily pick up and set down in the moments I get while my daughter settles into sleep. I will add your suggestions to my list for the library just as soon as it's handy. I'm glad you found my website appealing, I've put a pretty large sum of time into it. I seem to be picking up all kinds of projects left and right, most ANYTHING that keeps me busy.

[shell]

Elizabeth,

What a terrible thing to have happen, both physically and emotionally. Thank you for sharing your story. I know my mom had terrible back pain, and I would try to get her to use those scooters, but she wouldn't. I thought I made it clear that I no longer make such quick judgements when I see people using them and haven't for a long time. I was just sayng that at one time in my life (when I was younger and not so wise about health issues, so to speak) I sometimes thought some people didn't "look" like they needed one. So much for honesty!

Anyway, I'm so sorry for your pain. I'm just glad they have made those available at stores for people who need them.

hugs,

Shell

[Elizabeth A.]

I'm sorry if I sounded snappish! I didn't mean it at all! I don't blame people for what they think, we can't all know everything about everyone. Perhaps that's where misunderstanding comes from, a lack of understanding. Oh duh, never thought of it quite like that.

Shell I'm sorry your mom wouldn't use the scooter. I myself thought for a long time that there are people out there plenty worse than me, needing them more. Maybe she needed my mother's theory on the ratio of use. Funny math isn't really her strong suit. It's worth just about anything to get through the store and get home with mild to moderate pain, instead of horrible curl up and stay in bed for days pain. Shoot I think I'm to the point now, that I would pay to rent one at some place like Wa!!y World. Shhh, don't tell them!

[shell]

Elizabeth,

You didn't sound snappish. I just felt like others took what I said in the wrong way and that maybe I shouldn't always be so honest! I'm just glad you are willing to use the scooters and wish my mom had too.

Hugs,

Shell