Aleutia

[rainbowbridge]

Aleutia was named after the Aleutian chain mountains from which our life together began. Sixteen months ago, on Aleutia's birthday, she was hit by a car ( i guess); however, she was not killed immediately. I found her a few hours after she must have been hit. As i called her name I heard a maoning comming from the ditch up ahead as i walked the property looking for her along the road. Yes, I found her. I immediately wrapped her in my jacket and ran for the truck. it was late in the evening. The vet said her back was broken and she would never walk on her two front legs again. I held her while the vet killed her for me. My last words to her were " I love you baby girl". Aleutia and i were together every day for 14 years, she slept with me, went to the lab with me, and even to the stores with me. sixteen months later i still cry every night for her, I got rid of all my possessions and live with my brother just painting, reading, cutting the fields Aleutia used to run in and tend to her garden where she is buried. My life has no concievable meaning anymore and i find myself emotionally blank to everything except her memory. I would do anything to have her back and blame myself (which it is my fault) for not taking her with me that one time and hate God for stealing and killing my dog. I can't wait to die so i can find my dog and apologize for everything i did wrong with her. Then God and i are going to have a serious one on one about her death. The life i live now is unknown to me. its like i stepped on mars and have no way to get back to what i knew was real. Oh I go through the motions of living but i dont feel living anymore. I ride the wind and care not where i land if Aleutia is not there. I was never married and never had any children except my dog Aleutia. When will i see you again my Precious One? Love, Christy's baby girl.