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i was supposed to talk to a woman who can speak to deceased animals. due to an emergency with someone else i lost my spot. so i went and sat by aleutias grave and cried until i fell asleep. i had a dream that i was in a big meadow and there were animals of all kinds everywhere and therewas a wonderful peace over everyone. i just woke up outside and its 4 a.m. I know things know that i didnt know before. its like looking at your hands for the fisrt time and realizing you can see right through them. i dont know what happened and i cant truly explain it. all i know for sure is that is the way i want to live, with that kind of peace. not like the life all around us now. You wont believe this either and i really dont mind, but i sense aleutia all over me, like someone is changing my thoughts or ideas or something. i dont know how to explain it but she "talked" to me. more like she changed my thoughts or something. she always has been here with me, she "said" when i cried she put her nose to my cheek, and most of the time she lays at my feet, she said the car that hit her was the car i helped that flipped in the ditch in front of the house". she also "said" "(that so many of them die and no one ever lights a candle(white) so they can find their way)". Either i have lost my mind or something happened that i can't explain. I can "sense" so many of them now i'm exhausted and exhilerated at the same time. Animals understand and forgive us no matter what. i want to live with that peace now, not like this world around us; not like this.

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