Hope...

[lyn]

Hope....

It has been a while since I have posted here and I just want to let you know that all of you are always in my prayers. Again I want to extend my gratitude for all the love, support and prayers you have given me. I never thought I could face life again, but I did...it was a hard and painful journey but I was able to handle it because of You. Thank you very much. You have seen me struggled with my grief, you have felt my pain, my anguish, my sorrow and You are always there to listen to me, to cry with me. Words are not enough to thank you. I remember going through each day in limbo...in numbness, and I remember that this forum has always been my comfort.

The past few months have been like a dream to me...once again, I found a reason to live. I felt like I can now move forward. I felt like I have finally healed. Healing was a process and I have gone through different intense emotions to say that I am now ok and ready to face life again...to begin another chapter in my life. Yes, I have found someone special and he has been very understanding of the grief I felt before, I have found joy in him. And with my new love, I believe I have his blessings from above.

For you who are starting this jouney and for anyone who is still struggling with pain, please dont give up hope, sometimes this is the only thing that we hang on to when everything else seems so dark. Just take each day one day at a time...one hour at a time...one minute at a time...this helps me a lot.

Keep the faith even if it is too difficult to pray...God knows our pain.

I wish all of you healing and peace.

With prayers,

lyn

[JeanneC]

Lyn:

I am fairly new to this site, but I just want to say that it about the best news I heard in such a long time. I am very happy for you that you have met someone special and that you are able to go on with your life. I can only imagine how long you have struggled with your grief. My husband passed almost 3 months ago. I am going through some difficult days. From hearing how happy you are gives hope to everyone here that is going through this struggle. Everyone tells me to just give it time and take it day by day. Sometimes I feel like it is getting worse instead of better. But then to hear your story really gives me hope.

I wish you all the luck and happiness with your new life.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne

[kayc]

Lyn,

Thank you for coming back and sharing. May you have a ton of happiness!

KayC

[lyn]

Hi again, and thanks for your messages...

I am 30 years old and lost my love almost 1 year and 3 months ago. We had plans to get married but it did not happen and it was very hard for me to accept his death. It was very painful losing the man I love so much and continue to love even up to now. I feel blessed that I have met someone now who understands the grief I felt before and he respects the love I have for him.

I never thought I could feel love this way again, and I pray that this will be forever. I always feel that I have the blessings of my past love when I commit myself to this new relationship. I hope my story will continue to inspire all of you on this very difficult journey.

I understand the pain, the hell that one has to go through each day..the struggle of going through each day without that person you love so much..the feeling of broken dreams, unknown future.. of going through my grief without support from friends. I am still thankful that I have found this website..this has been my lifesaver. I remember feeling so alone and all I could do was just log-in here and after a while I felt a little better knowing that there are people somewhere who understands my pain. I was able to cope with my grief by posting here a lot, sharing my emotions when I feel too burdened by my grief knowing that I wont be judge at all..And most of all, I tried not to think of the future because everytime I made plans for my future, I got so emotional and depressed that I decided to stopped planning for my future, I just take each day one day at a time..and I surrender everything to God. Ironic as it sounds but I stopped praying and I dont go to church anymore, I feel that even if I dont pray, God knows what is inside my heart and I never lose faith in Him.

My new love came at the time that I was not looking for love, at the time when I was comfortable just being myself and contented with being alone. I tried not to think too much...to stop asking the "why's"..and I have learned to just go with the flow of life...to find joy in simple things each day..

Have a peaceful day to all..

[MartyT]

Lyn, dear ~ I want to thank you personally for your very kind words, and may you continue to be blessed with all the love and happiness you so richly deserve.

[kayc]

Oh Lyn,

How I can relate to you! Loss changes us, even the display of our faith. My faith is as strong or stronger than ever, but it too has changed form. I don't go to church much anymore and am not involved with organized religion, but my personal belief system and my relationship with God is very much intact and I have the utmost faith in Him.

I am glad you found love. It goes to show we can run across it when we least expect it. Grief as we know it, never ends, but it does change form...you will always miss your fiance but the pain will continue to lessen with time, and especially as you build your life anew.

Our congratulations are with you!

KayC

[cheryl lee]

lyn, it makes me happy to know that you have moved on,I am so new to this situation, not to mention a lot older, but it does do my heart good to know there is life after loss. My husband Dale would be booting me right in the ass ,he would want me to move on.So I hope you find a new kind of happiness, I know there is all kinds, and I wish the best for you. Cheryl lee

[carrieboo]

Hi Lyn,

I am 29 and lost my soul mate 2 years ago (anniversary is pretty soon). Like you, we also had plans to get married, I even had my dress. I understand how difficult it is to realize your future that was previously planned out is now crumbled, and it was so hard to move forward.

Its refreshing to hear that you have found someone new as well. I recently moved in with a new guy whome I met 1 year ago. He is a wonderful man who I want to stay with, and very understanding of my greif, but I still struggle with guilt for moving on this way, and at times feel I can't completely give myself to him because of that. All of my friends and family are happy that I'm moving forward, however I have gotten stress for this from my late fiance's family....and unfortunatley our relationship has turned sour. Have you had any trouble with this as well?

I am happy you are able to move on as well,

and wish you all the best in the future.

[Guest moparlicious]

I am so happy for you younger gals who found love and moved on but still have the love and support for your grieving, you both are a inspiration!!!! Thank you. My beloved Dan died at the age of 41, it has been 1 year and almost a month, I am 41 and although Dan told me to move on and I told him I would, he just wanted me to be happy, I have not connected with anyone who I would consider dating. I think I am so ugly, I have yucky teeth, and I have bags and dark circles under my eyes. I am slender and think I do have a great personality. Don't know if I am looking for a "Dan" to come along or I am just simply not ready. I am very lonely and get sad and jealous looking at other couples.I was with Dan for 24 years and married for 20 years. I have tried creams, make up and I brush my teeth 6 times a day, but they are kinda crooked and I am missing one on each side when I smile, so I really hate looking at myself in the mirror, then I fear all men are just out for sex. I know this is just my thinking, and I apologize to all the widow men on here, for no offense, and you all are great, these are just my insecurities. I see a counsler, but I know in Dans eyes I was beautiful and he always made me feel that way. Kudos to you ladies, big steps, thats so awesome!!!!!!! Love, Kim

[shhh65]

Kay,

I am sitting here saying a big Amen to that. We sure do grow in the valleys don't we? I have been saturating my life with Bible study and prayer. Sometimes something He says thru my study touches me so much I can't see my Bible through the tears. He is making His love for me so real.

Lyn,

I am so very happy for you. May God bless you in abundance.

Sherry

[lyn]

Thank you for all your kind wishes. My prayers are with all of you that soon you will find healing and peace too.

~~~~~~~~~

Carrieboo,

Unfortunately I lost contact with my late fiance's family for some unexplainable reasons but even before they always send me best wishes that I may be able to find happiness again.

I have searched my feelings but I couldnt feel any guilt for the happiness I feel now. I think it is because even before I entered into this new relationship I have already fully accepted his death and felt that he only wants me to live life again. And I try to honor him by living my life as best as I can. I also feel much peaceful now with the realization that he might be actually be at peace now from above to see me finding love again with the right person. At times I missed him and I just talked to him and say a prayer for him.

I am sorry that you have to struggle with guilt..maybe you just need to keep in touch more with your grief by sharing your thoughts and letting go of your emotions. Sometimes we masked our grief by keeping busy but I have learned that it is important to let go of these feelings. If you feel any sadness, dont control your feelings but let go and feel it...it will pass. What is important is you allow yourself to feel those feelings. I understand that you would feel uncomfortable sharing your grief with your new love and you can always count on the people from this forum to be very understanding. You can always vent here about anything.

It is also good to know that your new love is also understanding and supportive of your grief. I wish that your late fiance's family will be more understanding of the new joy you found now. I wish you peace and healing too.

Edited September 14, 2008 by lyn